lupi

cow of tailed snake (gay)

avatar by @citriccenobite

you can say "chimoora" instead of "cow of tailed snake" if you want. its a good pun.​


i ramble about aerospace sometimes
I take rocket photos and you can see them @aWildLupi


I have a terminal case of bovine pungiform encephalopathy, the bovine puns are cowmpulsory


they/them/moo where "moo" stands in for "you" or where it's funny, like "how are moo today, Lupi?" or "dancing with mooself"



Bovigender (click flag for more info!)
bovigender pride flag, by @arina-artemis (click for more info)



wintersouls
@wintersouls

i'm speaking from my autistic experience of being in a healthy, long-term romantic relationship with an allistic person, but this really goes for any kind of relationship

sit down with your loved one(s) and discuss how you specifically process language and what your needs are when it comes to be communicated with

a few years ago, my fiancee and i would butt heads over mutual misunderstandings all the time. turns out, a LOT of those misunderstandings were just us having different definitions, usage, or connotations associated with different words/phrases

for example, my fiancee thought she was inviting me to do things just by mentioning that she Wanted to do an activity (e.g. "man, i could really go for some pizza right now")

i thought she was just being literal (e.g. "oh, well if you want pizza then you should get it!")

she thought i was constantly rejecting her invitations, and i thought she was never inviting me to things. in reality, we both just flew by one another because we didn't realize that we saw the same words as meaning different things

most people take their own interpretation of words/phrases for granted, and assume that everyone already agrees on what they mean. but people DO have different interpretations of words for a variety of reasons (neurodivergence, language barriers, class difference, etc.)

so like,,,, if you care for someone and they care for you,,,,,,,, talk about it! i ask my fiancee about different idioms and phrases all the time, and she'll frequently ask me "when i said X, what did you think i meant?" and such

and when you catch those differences, you can work toward mutual understanding and come up with solutions together

best of luck, my friends!


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in reply to @wintersouls's post:

Speaking as someone on the spectrum myself, it's also super important to have these conversations when they are not an immediate crisis. When people are upset, they are already in a defensive posture - so talking about definitions and what you meant versus what they heard can come across as "I am attempting to deflect blame for this back onto you for you becoming upset in the first place," which isn't going to help matters any.

If somebody's upset, the order of operations is generally:
1.) Any immediate threat points (if something's on fire, or about to be, or similar "gotta handle lest things get worse" stuff).
2.) The emotions. Heightened emotions make it hard to communicate, and it's better to communicate via understood actions that you care about the person's upset feelings before you try to discuss possible causes.
3.) The misunderstanding. Discuss what you thought was being said, what you thought the other person's intentions or motivations were, and what you were trying to convey via your own actions/words.