so today is a fuckening rollercoaster and i think i need time and space to debrief but also my internet is out
chronology of events
the morning
this morning i looked over at my phone after debating whether i was gonna go to the port canaveral job fair and discovered i had a missed call and a voicemail. from a 321 number.
which was already an "oh shit oh fuck its not spam it might be good"
and then it's an "are you still job-hunting, can we set up an interview?"
i call back, and they're like "is 2pm today fine?" yeah that's fine, i can shoot the gap between the storms today for that.
So. It's 10am when I get off that call, i spent the next two hours waiting on the dishwasher to finish so i can use the hot water to shower, attacking my face with trimmers, etc.
I leave the house at around 12:30 so i can get downtown and hunker at the museum for the first wave of storms, which works out because if i'd waited at home for that i would've been late.
the interview
During the interview I did my best to use a lot of personal stories:
- I'm here because of that (points to the VAB visible out the window behind us)
- I met the roommate i moved here to look after in this very restaurant (points towards the corner with the bar)
- i want to be part of and give back to a community that i've fallen in love with since moving here
I am horrifically overwhelmed during the interview but evidently it didn't show because the gal that interviewed moo, one of the managers, was like "when can you start? I like you, I'm willin' to give this a go." And then it was a whole torrent of information I had to either absorb or smile and nod through while taking notes.
after
i may have treated mooself to a gelati from the froyo/general frozen treat place on the way back home, and stated that "as soon as i stop moving i'm going to havve an emotional crash i think."
I get home and discover I'm not allowed to stop. The air conditioner is bootlooping because the outlet it's plugged into has decided the gfci in it is not friends with the motor start draw/inrush current/whatever the AC asks for anymore. Also my internet apparently was out. So i can't just unwind, i have to troubleshoot.
I gave up on the GFCI and just reverted to plugging the AC into the circuit with the oven/cooktop like i did before, managed to get a service call in with a technician.
It's the fucking wire from the telephone pole to my house. And he's just here in a panel van, he can't fix that. So they put me down for an end-of-day 6-7p appointment with the intent of sending a properly equipped guy.
After he leaves, i get a call from him saying "hey, they assigned me to you again, you're gonna have to call and get them to give you another guy."
So i do that. Turns out there's an actual outage now which means
- all the people with the equipment to actually fix my wire are probably on call for the greater outage
- even if one of those people were free, they wouldn't be able to actually effect a fix during the outage, because they can't know if they fixed the problem.
which, y'know. i was hopinng for same day because i work tomorrow, i'm there 9-5 and i don't even know if i'd be there in time for a 6-7pm appointment tomorrow but i guess we have to hope.
autaur's notes
emotion is a fuck
i am fucking terrified and i am going to explode with anxiety over this i do not feel relieved i feel overwhelmed and full of fear for reasons i can only partially reverse engineer from the few strings i can pull on
i am probably still extremely traumatized from my previous job and worried i'm going to be worked to the bone past burnout like the circle k, i'm worried i'm not going to be cut out for this. it's a dishwasher+busser position, i'm not going to be bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders, but it's full time and i'm still worried about pushing too hard for that.
i am bummed that i didn't realize i would be losing out on boomer shooter thursday nights forever after this because i'm likely working 4-close from here on out.
I was going to meet a friend next week but it looks like i may miss out on that because of the way my work schedule's gonna be.
fuck computers tm
i'm fully conscious of how and why i managed to get this job. This place is old-fashioned. They don't even do timecards/scheduling/etc digitally yet, taking an unscheduled day off is "go to the other people who do your job with a piece of paper, get them to sign off on covering your shift, and then get a manager to also sign that paper" and that's only changing in the near term as they upgrade their PoS and whole IT system finally to the 21st century.
There were no computers involved and that's the only reason I got hired. The managers actually had to read my paper application. No AI could screen it out, no system could get in the way.
Also I had enough time to try and put on the autism mask. or maybe if she smelled the autism on moo she didn't notice, or i put off enough charisma and told enough sappy stories to be interesting despite that.
cowclusion
i don't feel debriefed i don't feel relaxed for having gotten this off my chest but ouughghgghghghghghghggghgh
i'm going to put on my beanbag bull tits and see if the weighted vest effect helps, and be thankful family plan is now on unlimited data (it used to be 2g/line!!!)

