lupi

cow of tailed snake (gay)

avatar by @citriccenobite

you can say "chimoora" instead of "cow of tailed snake" if you want. its a good pun.​


i ramble about aerospace sometimes
I take rocket photos and you can see them @aWildLupi


I have a terminal case of bovine pungiform encephalopathy, the bovine puns are cowmpulsory


they/them/moo where "moo" stands in for "you" or where it's funny, like "how are moo today, Lupi?" or "dancing with mooself"



Bovigender (click flag for more info!)
bovigender pride flag, by @arina-artemis (click for more info)



CERESUltra
@CERESUltra

If old timey cartoon stereotype witches were around today it would rule. One of them would tweet or blog something like

I was talking to bethesdalah the other day and I asked her about how she dealt with potions leaving residue on her broom, as mine was getting quite sticky

and she told me that witches don't use their brooms to stir their cauldrons? I told her everyone in my coven does??? She said that was fucking weird???? Am I losing my mind?!?!?!?!!

and then for the next four months we'd have the most unhinged discourse the mortal realm has ever seen



RoxannaRachnid
@RoxannaRachnid

Stirring potions with your broom is like cleaning cast iron the wrong way


asunchaser
@asunchaser
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modulusshift
@modulusshift

You let your broom handle touch the ground!? that's a magical focus for air magic, you get dirt all over it and you're gonna faceplant the next time you have to go anywhere! stirring potions is one thing, that's water elemental, there's plenty of water in most air, but earth is going to ground your magical energies and nosedive your efficiency at best, if not your actual nose!


asunchaser
@asunchaser
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modulusshift
@modulusshift

of course brooms are air focuses, even for cleaning purposes. let me go through the reasons why:

  1. Trees are earth-source, air-aligned. as the tallest plants on the planet, they have a yearning to touch the sky, and focus all of their energy in life on reaching up and out.
  2. you take some wood, and you let it dry out, purifying the air-alignment. you also dry out some straw, which is less powerfully air-attracted but on the other hand, much more hollow so easily air-converted.
  3. you attach the straw to the wood, and with purpose keep the straw aimed at least partially earthward in storage and use. This inversion of the tree (trunk on top, "branches" on bottom) demonstrates human control over elements, while building up a frustration of the air magic.
  4. for cleaning, you use the broom to blast dust and dirt off the floor, with tiny bursts of air magic, often called "sweeping". the air magic easily repels the dirt away from your work area, allowing it to settle harmlessly onto the earth elsewhere. It obviously comes out "branch"-ward.
  5. by keeping the soaring spirit of the witch focused earth-ward through cleaning tasks such as these, you build up a deep frustration of air magic in yourself, in kinship with the broom. With enough frustration and bond to the air focus kept under your power, you release the air magic through the focus in a powerful burst, and launch yourself skyward, letting your body soar with your spirit and finally allowing your focus's branches to reach the sky again. the exhilaration of flight and freedom combined with the release of frustration both in yourself and the broom makes this a very potent experience, it's not easy to forget, and allows easier channeling of power to that end in the future.

And that's why brooms are a powerful focus of air magic, and the primary means of airborne travel among witches.


CERESUltra
@CERESUltra

I unironically love that I made a silly little joke back then and then this website spent a month making it real. Alan wake shit. Tlon Uqbar shit. This is just one of the actual 100s of responses I got. Thank you for reminding me



pendell
@pendell

Me: "No ma'am, we can't track an Amazon RMA number, you'd have to contact Amazon for that. Since this receipt is dated yesterday, the items have already left, as everything leaves the store daily."

Customer: "I don't like your tone, I don't appreciate your attitude, I don't like you."

Me, smiling, pleasant customer service voice: "Well, you don't have to speak with me, you're free to leave the store anytime."

And now I'm in trouble and will be getting "talked to" by the boss when he comes in later today. Quote my manager "you can't be mean to customers." But apparently they can be mean to me? Sorry, no, I draw the line at tolerating someone sneering directly at my face about the things they dislike about my existence.


pendell
@pendell

The worst thing about working customer service jobs is that one suitably awful customer can, beyond just making your day worse, actively put your job at risk. Especially in America there's an expectation that customer service workers be punching bags for whatever irritations are on people's minds that day, and that they lose their jobs if they express any sort of human emotional response to being harassed.

Personally I believe all customer service workers should have a button under their counter, and when they press it, it ejects the customer through the roof on a Dr. Seuss style springed platform.