Saturn, no! Your son contains gluten!

i'm a boy from indiana and this is very emotional for me
Saturn, no! Your son contains gluten!
That man is about to spend 3 days curled in a ball in the corner of their shower, feeling like somebody is twisting a corkscrew into their guts, wishing that it would just end.
The Olympian most likely to contain gluten is, of course, Demeter
You ever think that Saturn was laying in bed with heartburn after eating Hestia
Just drowning a bottle of antacids, groaning