edit: there's an important next-day addition at the end of this post that's hidden behind the "read more." sorry for the double bump. (synopsis: in the past, I didn't act how I recommend in this post, and that was a major mistake that hurt others unintentionally. reconsidering my actions was how I came to these conclusions.)
i think the combination of "no post deduplication" and "strictly chronological timeline" means stuff gets blown way out of proportion on here. there's basically nobody using cohost as their first social media platform; we've all got ingrained habits and ways of reading things, all formed on websites with different modes of presentation. what might seem in our gut to be a Turmoil encompassing a good portion of the site can be generated by like. 6-12 people.
we see here the natural form and outcomes of a social network at its most base level. there's no algorithm to damp things down; the tank circuit resonates when people get fired up. but folks form opinions based on prior experience. nobody can help that without a lot of work and thought.
if you see something that makes you mad, that makes you want to Post In Response, i have advice: you will feel a lot better if you take a bit to think. specifically, i have found peace from thinking: am I actually helping here, or am I just raising the temperature?
for better or for worse, i have internet microcelebrity. some parts of it are nice and some parts of it suck ass, but one big thing i have learned is that regardless of what my opinion on something is, speaking up about something I have a strong opinion on with my level of reach (especially given that i am decent with words) is likely to raise the temperature of any given conflict or discussion dramatically. this happens whether i'm right or wrong (though being wrong comes with its own problems). it's a larger-scale version of what folks with a smaller reach can do collectively, or alone if something Goes Viral.
until I figured this out, following the urge to get involved and say my peace with all conflicts or issues i felt strongly about within the social network that exists on this site was hurting me and making my life worse, and i suspect it may have been subtly or unsubtly hurting those around me, at least sometimes. i wish i'd figured it out earlier, but i can at least recommend to folks:
chilling out will help you feel better, and can help cool the discourse down from boiling hot. problems don't get solved when people are angry; all that happens when people are angry is that we hurt each other. solutions are found with consideration, cooperation and collaboration, not conflict. we'd all do well to remember this.
Edit the next day (this seems important to add)
I did not always think this (in part because I had not thought about it), and have acted contrary to this advice on here in the past. I now regard that as a serious mistake. The way I acted made others miserable, even if my intentions were good; I reacted driven by emotions and without thought, and spoke without regard to the out-of-proportion effects I can have on the tenor of a conversation in a social media community, compared to someone with fewer followers. Whether or not I helped the people I intended to help, making things more heated for everyone still hurt others.
If I had kept a handle on my own feelings and gone about it better, the conflicts may still have been resolved the same way, but with significantly less misery for others and myself, and they may have been resolved in a better fashion if everyone wasn't riled up, which I had a significant part in causing. I didn't fully grasp this until I took a break from social media, had time to think, and realized that with my reach, it was wildly irresponsible of me to do things the way I'd been doing them. I decided I had to actively work to change that.
Chilling out makes things easier for everyone, including yourself. I have been enjoying my time here more since I made that decision.
