makyo

Author, Beat Sabreuse, Skunks

Recovering techie with an MFA, working on like a kajillion writing projects at once. Check out the Post-Self cycle, Restless Town, A Wildness of the Heart, ally, and a whole lot of others.


Trans/nb, queer, polyam, median, constantly overwhelmed.


Current hyperfixation: SS14


Skunks&:

⏳ Slow Hours | 🪔 Beholden
🫴 Hold My Name | ✨ Motes
🌾 Rye | ★ What Right Have I
🌱 Dry Grass | ⚖️ True Name
🌺 May Then My Name

Icon by Mot, header by @cupsofjade


CERESUltra
@CERESUltra

Me: can I get uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh a healthy amount of self-worth not tied to value but something intrinsic, never crossing into arrogance or vanity?

Drive thru dude: enlightenment machine broke

Me: what about a neutral feeling, going about my day with no concern for higher concepts but just taking life as it is for the moment?

Dude: we outta mindfulness of the present

Me: dang, what do you have?

Dude: Existential ennui.

Me: I don't know if I want that.

Dude: you don't know if you want anything.

Me: I'm not even sure if I know how to sort wants from needs. What gives me brief pleasure and what in the long term will give me stability and strength are equally nebulous.

Dude: everything feels fleeting, but you also lose bearings on the present and your mind feels minutes or even seconds as hours.

Me: I must work, struggle to survive, and the things that bring me joy can never sustain a living for myself or those who depend on me. Meaning flees from my actions.

Dude: nothing you do may ever amount to anything.

Me: it hasn't much so far.

Dude: yet you must continue on.

Me: death would be even more pointless than life. And so boring. Nothing would ever change, even superficially.

Dude: so it goes.

Me: [weakly] yeah.

Dude: Anything to drink?

Me: do you have diet pepsi?

Dude: we just got pepsi zero cherry.

Me: Oh, Right On! Make it an extra large!


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