This is such an important idea to me. I might have transitioned much earlier if I didn't think you had to be traumatized by your body and gender in order to be valid in doing so.
There's so much I want to say about this, which all basically boils down to "this is correct". That transitioning isn't (just) about removing painful stuff from your life, it's about seeking what brings new joy and light into your life.
I want to talk about why this idea isn't more widely understood. But I just wrote two long-ass posts about serious topics today already, so instead I'll just try to break it down into bullet points:
- The liberal assumption that any fundamental change is frightening and undesirable by default.
- An associated sunk cost fallacy that is more focused on the social and cultural connections you might lose from transitioning, instead of focusing on all the social and cultural connections you might never get a chance to gain unless you transition (and not being aware that those older connections may never have been genuine if you weren't bringing your real self into it in the first place).
- A certain type of feminism that has sought cultural and political change based on the premise that being a woman sucks and is not something anyone would find inherently desirable in itself. (Also just general sexism following that same premise.)
