maleviolent

loves to -atic your problems

  • xe/xir + it/its [NO THEY]

30+ ★ queer [&] neurodiverse
nonwhite ★ clinically disastrous ★ purveyor of too much media ★ govt assigned cagab is information you're not entitled to

account made 15/02/'24


I will lock you up in a tower and eat the fucking key. I am going to throw you into the bog and whistle for the crows to laugh at you.

I am so glad cohost (in my neck of the woods at least) does not have young autistic dumbasses who think they need to clarify their tone on every goddamn thing. Y'all didn't think about the overthinking. Y'all didn't realize if I'm hit with a /genq I'm gonna be wondering why it's needed. Why and how it could have been read otherwise. What else could you have meant? Did you realize it could be meant another way and want me to be sure it's not that way? What if you're lying? What if you're doing that to mislead me? Y'all forget that the older you get with neurodivergencies, the more insane you get. Yeah we manage better but you can be damned sure the neurotic idiot dog in my head that wants me to think about something and think about it again and "can we be sure about this?" is VERY much present and yapping its fool head off.

My own autistic ass is gonna take you at your word about 90% of the time UNLESS there's certain formulaeic sentence structures at play that make me think you're being sarcastic. UNLESS what's being said seems so at odds with what's probably the genuine values or beliefs of the demographic speaking that I can be fairly sure it's a joke.

I don't need your /gen or your /genq or your /neu. If you need to put an /ex or a /th or a /hyp then that's on you for writing poorly enough that people don't know you're exaggerating or that you're actually too much of a wumple to pull off a threat or that you can't hyperbole well enough. And I sure as FUCK don't want to see /p (platonic), /a (alterous), /r (romantic) or /sx (sexual intent). This is how y'all are flirting? That's crazy. Have you tried just STATING IT.

What was good about tone tags was the essentials. Sometimes knowing when it's a joke or sarcastic is helpful. If I don't know you well enough to be able to parse your sense of humor or know what you would think or value, then I'm not gonna know what you'd be sarcastic about either.

The most annoying thing about this shit is that it does TRY to pull you into it as well. There is peer-pressure to engage in tone tagging as well. The problem is that if you don't do it to the same degree as the people you're around, they're going to think you're mad at them. And hell forbid you type in Proper Sentence Case like me because then OF COURSE you're scary and too serious and probably irate and oh god what did i do ;;

The most annoying thing about this is it cancels out all the minor interactions you could have with people that is very simply asking what they meant by something. And it's making you manage their feelings FOR them. If you DON'T put a /lh then everything must be terrible, actually. It takes away all opportunity to learn better communication and how to assert your own boundaries in some cases. I think it's easily paired with the DNI list problem.

On a tangent is I miss the casual flagging of boundaries on art. I would love knowing whether artists are cool with me being a horndog about their art or not. But you know what? It's easy to say "I hope you're cool with this when I say that: AWOOGA" and move on. And if they're not cool with it? I delete that and say something else nice and not horny.


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in reply to @maleviolent's post:

To this day, I'll never understand why people thought the best way to make communication online more accessible was "Create an ever-expanding list of niche acronyms and then yell at anyone who tries to explain that they're confusing or difficult to use." Because, you know, autistic people are totally known for being able to grasp esoteric, constantly fluctuating social codes with ease.

You said it!!!! I know that we just have very different modes of manuevering social situations and communicating to the point they're completely incompatible but it really gives me a headache and genuinely makes me worried if they're going to be Able to assert boundaries in a more... well... assertive way.

I appreciated select tone tags like /s and /j to an extent until they got to the point of popularity of being used ironically, often even from the same people claiming you needed to use them. I was in a fandom discord server where tone tags were often used as a second layer of sarcasm, and it was indecipherable. I think tone tags are a conceptually useful internet invention, but they were inevitably popularized by the type of people who are neurotic about miscommunication while counterintuitively obfuscating what they mean at all times to avoid being Percieved. Those two anxieties tend to feed into each other, unfortunately.

To go on a tangent from your tangent, I appreciate that Ao3 has done this with the 'author is open to hearing about dead batteries' tag, and I think artists in general could benefit from picking that sort of thing up.

With my close friends, I will use /j and /s when I feel it's needed, especially if I'm using my sort of go-to deadpan humor because that's definitely pretty hard to pick up all the time, even if someone knows me well. But I can echo your experience with this discord server thing because we've been in a few bigger plural discord servers and they are just RIDDLED with young neurotic people who will have a TERRIBLE time if you dare to start a sentence with a capital letter and end it with a period, and it gets so much worse if you don't put a lighthearted tag. And I simply do not fucking understand it. (Or I probably could, but it's extremely annoying and my way of carrying myself is completely at odds with their sense of normal).

Oh my god please explain the dead batteries thing.... I'm so curious. (I think for a very short time on tumblr there was something like tagging art with something like "horniness allowed" but I don't even remember exactly the way it was worded. But yeah I think it would be pretty helpful).

I forget that not everyone is familiar with that one, haha. The dead batteries tag is a smut-specific tag that means "it's fine to tell me you jacked off to this and how," because not every smut author is comfy with explicit feedback beyond "this is hot." The phrase itself implies a situation where the commenter tells the author that the batteries in their sex toy died while they were reading.