josie :3!!!

@marfle-bark

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josie! a poly pan lesbian in ATX :3!
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josie :3!!!@marfle-bark11/30/2023, 2:01 AM

Caffeinated Otter @caffeinatedOtter

Joe Wintergreen @joewintergreen11/30/2023, 1:27 AM

I want a Spiderman thing that recognises that there's usually no reason for an investigating cop to think a guy webbed to a wall even did anything. Like wouldn't that immediately turn into trying to prosecute Spiderman for randomly tying people up and running away

Spiderman stops a mugging, suspends the guy from the power lines, two hours later the cops show up, there's no witnesses or victim or any suggestion of a mugging, just The Case Of The Guy Who Keeps Doing This

A guy hangs upside down, blood rushing to his head, outside the bank for hours before someone cuts him down. A note stuck to his face inhibiting his breathing says "compliments of your friendly neighbourhood spider-man". Wow we're dealing with a real piece of shit here

#spiderman #the man who was a spider

Caffeinated Otter @caffeinatedOtter11/30/2023, 1:33 AM

Spiderman just does less-lethal vigilante violence

...And as an irresponsible rigger who leaves people suspended unsupervised, possibly not that much less-

josie :3!!!@marfle-bark11/30/2023, 2:01 AM

i bet spider-man doesn’t keep safety shears close at-hand

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in reply to @joewintergreen's post:

gravis again @cathoderaydude11/30/2023, 1:28 AM

you've created batman

Joe Wintergreen @joewintergreen11/30/2023, 1:34 AM

batman has a spotlight on the roof of the GCPD and hangs out with the commissioner all the time; we must assume they have strats and batman probably submits a report via email later or something

gravis again @cathoderaydude11/30/2023, 1:36 AM

i apologize for hmming your lol but in at least many incarnations batman is treated as a total outlaw by everyone except commissioner gordon. the rest of the city doesn't buy the vigilante routine for a second, doesn't care what gordon thinks, and are constantly threatening or actively trying to Bring Him In because from their perspective he's a vigilante who keeps breaking legs with no due process

Joe Wintergreen @joewintergreen11/30/2023, 1:39 AM

batman the animated series is the only real batman to me and only until the animation style changes (new adventures). that sounds cool though

i mean, the commish presumably should turn on him too eventually if none of these cases are sticking though right

gravis again @cathoderaydude11/30/2023, 1:41 AM

yeah that's one of my sources. batman is framed and pursued by the cops in the very first episode and i think like multiple more times in the first season. and yeah it's a frameup but also the cops (except for gorgon) immediately go "oh yeah the freak, i figured he was Bad"

Joe Wintergreen @joewintergreen11/30/2023, 1:43 AM

yeah him being framed is one thing, but him being condemned for what he actually does is another. i would like to see gordon be like "batman i appreciate the thought but i have to let all these guys go as soon as i find them"

JP @vectorpoem11/30/2023, 1:29 AM

"9 guys just this week that we've found after they've been dead of asphyxiation for over an hour. we've got a serial killer on the loose here."

Joe Wintergreen @joewintergreen11/30/2023, 1:36 AM

12 hours after our boys wrapped up that rooftop crime scene, 16 overlooked henchmen finally peeled off the exterior of the building and pancaked into the sidewalk. their remains are beyond identification

The Pnictogen Wing @pnictogen-wing11/30/2023, 1:39 AM

(something thuds to the ground) "aw jeez...thought my webbing would last longer than that...😬"

Pastacat @MinimallyCrazy11/30/2023, 2:26 AM

Opening scene: detective sips from a cup of coffee, stares up at dude webbed to a telephone pole upside down.

"This is gonna turn out to be a sex thing, ain't it."

jeroknite @jeroknite11/30/2023, 2:31 AM

JJJ was right u_u

@garak11/30/2023, 2:56 AM

There is a throwaway joke along these lines in Astro City. The Spiderman in question is Crackerjack, who must have super senses to be able to see anything with how far his head is up his own ass.