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Talk to me on discord (IkomaTanomori#2097) and I'll introduce you to my brat, she made rapid and good connections in her local kink scene when I encouraged her to attend some events, and I think she could benefit from the confidence boost of sharing that knowledge with you and thus realizing she has it.
Feel you on the "taught having a body is gross" thing. I can only say, I feel it way less when I'm with a partner who cares about me and we're making each other feel good so who cares what the body feeling that looks like.