🌹🦌

it's so hard to resist the siren call of self-righteous quips, isn't it? I tell you what, I don't think it's possible for me to just be good in any fundamental way, but I at least want to do good. but god, there are so many easier ways to feel good. what doesn't feel good about getting people who agree with me to think I'm funny and righteous? what doesn't feel good about being the sharpest knife, making the deepest cuts with the least motion? being dangerous and being protected are the same, aren't they?

yet... feeling good and doing good are not synonymous. doing good can feel pretty bad even, at times. the vulnerability it takes to stand by something you believe. friends you made by enabling them to feel good will leave if you start caring about doing good. why are you trying to create? we came to watch you destroy! so I try my best to maintain that critical distinction and avoid conflating feeling with doing. it's hard. I only hope it will be worth it in the end.