just looked at my email, and was absolutely knocked sideways by an email subject line that read simply:
Introducing Commerce, a new way to earn
Introducing Arson®, a new way to interact with your favorite brands

| Micolithe |
|---|
| Agender |
| 36 years old |
| Philadelphia, PA |
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| Last Login: 08/30/2007 |
Agender Enby, Trans, Gay, AND the bearer of the gamer's curse. Not a man, not a woman, but instead I am puppy.
I got a fat ass and big ears.
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Yes I did the cooking mama Let's Play way back when. I post alot about Tech (mostly how it sucks) and Cooking and Music and Television Shows and the occasional Let's Play video
💖@FadeToZac
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We all do what we can ♫
So we can do just one more thing ♫
We can all be free ♫
Maybe not in words ♫
Maybe not with a look ♫
But with your mind ♫
just looked at my email, and was absolutely knocked sideways by an email subject line that read simply:
Introducing Commerce, a new way to earn
Introducing Arson®, a new way to interact with your favorite brands
I now wish to learn about the worst way to buy products I love.
"millennials and their pantry micro-economies are killing grocery stores!!!"
Lmao "Store" that made me actually lol. If we have to have ads (no we don't, fuck off capitalism), then can we please make all ads like this, about completely mundane things.
Street Pole. The most questionably effective way to get the word out about your hyperlocal event.
NEW street sign. Also the most questionably effective way to get the word out about your new turn restrictions. https://cohost.org/simX/post/2537070-spotted-a-new-not
all video ads to be replaced with sesame street-style skits explaining basic societal concepts. society improved immensenelly.
I accept. Also acceptable are those wonderful old-timey explainers like that zip-code-song or the differential-motor-from-first-principles videos that I think most internetty people have probably seen already.
One place that I used to buy from would shop up as just "shop" in email, so I'd get things like "shop New items have arrived" and "shop Sale now on", and, honestly? some of the only marketing emails I'd click on.