I think the thing that made me finally break through to the gender feelings is having to wear a suit to my brother's wedding.
I looked at myself and I felt like I looked like a fucking clown. A facsimile of myself trying my best to exist in skin that wasn't my own. I've always sorta been against the idea of formalism, in general, but this was different. This wasn't just me being like "ugh i have to dress up nice this really isn't my speed" but was more of "ugh i have to dress like someone i'm not"
Anyway by the time 4 weeks had gone by I had starting trying to process that I was non-binary, and that all the things I kept saying about how gender is fake and you can do whatever you want? Finally I was working on applying that to me.
Thoughts I had over the years that should have been a sign were things like "What if I'm cis but I think being cis is kind of awful" well then you are trans my friend, thats it, its really that simple.
