Fran

I don't know how many users on Cohost are in that middle/high school age range, and even if you're not in that range still take this to heart. Please don't ever delete anything you've created. As someone who did ms paint doodles and made shitty youtube videos back when I was younger, I wish I still had them. I was a fool and did what I assume a lot of people end up doing and deleting everything because you feel like it's too "cringe" or whatever.

Now that I'm reaching my 30s, I regret it. I regret it everyday of my life. You have no idea how much I wish I still had my shitty youtube videos or silly ms paint doodles. I swear I must've had like, 30-40 videos on youtube that were just dumbshit like a bunch of pictures set to music or just like 10 minutes of random gameplay from some game I played on an emulator. Pretty much all them edited in Windows Movie Maker. I had a deviantart gallery full of just the most random and silly ms paint doodles. Just the most shit child train of thought drawings I did because I was bored and had way more dedication than I do now.

With getting older and not being able to remember stuff you did as a kid, I wish I could look back on any of these. It's all lost to time now. I have a select handful of ms paint drawings by happenstance because I was a freak and uploaded them to some of the weirdest places... but everything else is either dead links or just gone. So just a message from someone who made that mistake. I urge you to not delete your creative works, no matter how "cringe" they may seem now.

ok not really. not literally. unless you actually want to get that master's degree! go for it! the less spicy title for this post is "we all live in this world together and necessarily rely on another and as such it is okay and worthwhile to learn skills that allow you to provide support to friends, loved ones, and communities"

ever had your therapist tell you that you were relying on them too much and that you need to have a supposrt network, only to have everyone around you tell you that you are relying on them too much and you need to talk to your therapist? that sucks!

ever watched a friend struggle with a problem and have no idea what to do because you only know what works for you, and can't bridge the gap between your own skills and their needs? that super sucks!

ever felt like the entire mental health conversation is trapped in a couple well meaning cliches that just end up atomizing us further in an already atomized world, leaving us disconnected and in perpetual crisis because we can never get that damn oxygen mask on? that turbo mega sucks!

there's absolutely got to be skills to make this situation stop sucking. things to do and practice and understand. things that help fill in the gaps when one person hits a point where they can't help themselves on their own and needs support without their only options being 'wait for the one hour a week you're allowed to have feelings", "just tough it out and protect your friends from yourself", or "get committed"!

hell, im going to say this: taking responsibility for your mental health means knowing when to ask for help beyond your own means, and being willing and able to seek that help. if we want people to be able to actually manage their needs, recognizing that not everything will be accessible internally matters! therefore learning how to support others absolutely matters!

of course i can say this, but i can only guess where to begin. everything i see is so focused on the individual. if i had to pick a few things to yell at people in my past to do better, id say l skills i want them to learn are giving up control over another person's situation, and learning to ask what a person needs instead of deciding for them and getting mad then they tell you to stop.

what would i want to learn? probably expressing empathy and sympathy better. i can feel both no problem, but i wonder how to make those feelings better understood in the moment, allowing people who want empathy to feel more connected and less alone.