In the dark of a tavern, a dark-skinned femme pirate looks is LAUGHING AND DRINKING GROG. The tavern is FULL! We hear the lively voices of rowdy pirates from behind. The femme pirate is at first talking and laughing with someone just off-camera, but the camera keeps slowly zooming on her as she addresses the viewer.
STORYTELLER PIRATE
You! (turning to camera) Hey, yes, you!
As she does so, we hear the start of musical stings coming from disparate instruments on the back of the bar, as if a band was preparing to play but not yet quite.
STORYTELLER PIRATE
Yes! Come here.
As a bystander walks in front, camera cuts quickly — zoomed a little closer. The pirate addresses the screen now. We hear the instruments readying, then falling quiet. The camera slowly tightens on her face as she speaks.
STORYTELLER PIRATE
You’ve come at just the right time, my friend! I was about to tell… THE tale. About the pirate who inspires all of us, the one and the only…
CROWD (Off-camera to the side)
(Whoops and whistles!) Hell yeah!
STORYTELLER PIRATE
The Master of Pirates! The Fingers of Gold! He Who Found The Ultimate Treasure! Him indeed!
CROWD
Who-hooo!
The orchestra starts playing, licks of violin and marimba notes in the chaos of the tavern.
STORYTELLER PIRATE
(At this point, close on her face.)
The one and the only.
(Pause for effect, smiling broadly.)
Guybrush.
Threepwood.
synopsis:
Guybrush Threepwood is several years into his marriage and loves living as the cute boy toy of retired ex-Governor Marley on the out-of-the-way Scabbard Island. And he would love to tag along with her retiree adventures… but unfortunately by his own admission no one would ever let him close to a boat, captains nor insurers alike. He works his days driving tourists around Scabbard at the behest of the local tourist board, but at night he is tormented by a fact he feels inevitable: Monkey Island is out there somewhere still, and one day he’ll figure out how to find its true secret once and for all. He eventually manages to dupe (?) the tourist board in sponsoring him for one last trip, but the antics of tourists and overeager board members cause him to overshoot his mark and sail right through the Sea of Forbiddance, the location known as the Unnameable Polygon, where after several shenanigans he invokes a terrible curse: he inadvertently trades sunlight for his freedom, plunging the Caribbeans into eternal night. And only an act of a foul figure of night could undo the curse: a foul figure like the zombie-pirate LeChuck, now deceased. Or is he? He is. But with his remains, someone could take his terrible place — and Elaine only trusts herself for the role…
Things that happen:
- Zombie-Pirate Elaine Marley… but not for long
- The Tourist Board becomes a hive mind??
- We find that the real secret of Monkey Island is the incredibly bizarre ritual we didn’t know we were performing along the way
- Guybrush finally becomes famous and renowned, but for something he absolutely did not do.