I had a realization recently that a lot of cis people see our genders as the equivalent of a kink scene: they play along because they're having fun (the joy of being a good ally, the excitement of having exotic trans people in their life), but they see themselves as having the right to safeword out and stop the scene the moment they become uncomfortable
in my mind there’s a whole category of “will be a Good Ally but if annoyed they will start misgendering and react Badly if corrected in that moment” that really grinds my gears. some real “we’re having an argument, cut that trans crap out and be serious” energy.
