minterim

mint !

@minterim

tubers and digging. you get it

recent gdes grad, makes things (alledgedly)

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BURGER SPECIALIST: Seems like this would be kind of a weird place to post up in a 500 game. Don't most of those balls fall closer to the middle of the country?

LACRECIA: They do ... I don't know. I'm trying something different.

BURGER SPECIALIST: Ha, I guess you kinda have to, right?

LACRECIA: [laughter] You know what? I do. I really, really do.

BURGER SPECIALIST: I'm sorry, that was kinda shitty.

LACRECIA: Don't be! Don't be sorry.

LACRECIA: .

Magazine cover: “The 17776 500 Game Scout’s Guide, featuring: Full reports on all 17,834 registered players! Maps of all 17775 ball drop locations! Special retrospective: who is the greatest operator in the history of the game?”Page 208 of the magazine: “Lacrecia Evans: The lovable loser”. “There’s a saying in 500 circles: ‘if you’re anywhere near Lacrecia Evans, you’re in the wrong place.’ That saying is about 10,000 years old, and it’s just as true in 17776 as it was in 7751, the year Evans first registered to play in the Denali 500 game. Since that day, 6,880,129 balls have fired out of the Denali Cannon and into the Lower 45 United States. Had she an average amount of luck, Evans should have caught at least 300 footballs by now. She doesn’t; in fact, her luck is so staggeringly pitiful that it’s attracted the attention of mathematicians and sports historians alike. Lacrecia Evans has never caught a single 500 ball.”

BURGER SPECIALIST: .

BURGER SPECIALIST: Can I ask you something?

LACRECIA: You can ask me anything you want. Trust me, you're not gonna hurt my feelings.

BURGER SPECIALIST: Ha, okay. Why, uh

BURGER SPECIALIST: Why do you keep trying? You haven't scored a single point in like 10,000 years, right?

LACRECIA: The short answer is that it's something to do.

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