One thing that’s started happening in the past couple of months is what I’m calling an undepressive episode and there has to be a better word for this.

Basically it starts like a depressive episode in that it comes out of nowhere and kind of washes over me, but it’s not depression. It’s the opposite. Not mania either; I’ve been manic before, and this doesn’t have the random energy or feelings I’ve being powerful that came with mania. It’s an endorphin rush, but a calming one. It’s powerful emotions, but they’re all positive. Sometimes I’ll tear up, but it’s from feeling happy. Half the time I just feel small and safe and warm and comfortable enough to nap.

Is this from HRT? Is this just a side effect of being in a healthy relationship finally? Is it something else?

I don’t know what it is, but it feels like healing.

sounds like euphoria to me.
for trans people it's usually a gender thing.
simply being in a healthy relationship is also enough to make anyone euphoric.
if you're not sure where it's coming from then it's probably a combo effect.

Honestly this makes the most sense.

It's so nice being happy with both myself and the people in my life. I've...never really had both at once before, ever. It's wonderful.

just wait until you figure out that the normies expect this feeling as a baseline.

Well this has me fucked up

Sorry I should clarify, the idea that this is the baseline and they all think we all have that same baseline and that that is a fundamental source of mutual misunderstanding is… A lot.

Oh

oooooooooooooooooooh

Goddamn okay yeah that's fucking with my head too.

Not sure I can process this properly at this time of the day.

it's a familiar observation to us at this point but we don't think we'll ever really internalize it