i finally!!!! finished!!!! watching!!!! ONIMAI!!!! that took way too long, lol. i'm just gonna dump all the rambly thoughts i've been writing about it here now that I'm finished.
Reading this on Anilist where I originally wrote it would be best, bc I've posted links/resources/staff lists for every episode, which I've omitted from here bc it'd make this already bloated post even more bloated.
Also, another LONG post, so beware of the read more button!!!
this next section will (hopefully) be the ONLY comment about the discourse I'll make, everything on my actual watch should hopefully be my own thoughts? although i doubt i'll be able to keep the discourse i see from affecting my my ideas, i'll try to keep them as separate as possible. i really don't want the toxicity to ruin the experience for me. (EDIT: surprisingly... there's not been much discourse surrounding this show. at least from what i've seen in my cursory looks at the community. which is good, i guess! maybe people have learnt from the eromanga sensei era that there's no need to talk about/focus on a show that they're obviously going to hate)
great core team behind it, but they're already pretty sus and i have very low hopes that they'll be able to handle the subject with the tact that i want out of it. i'd still be fine with it bc im completely fine with going dumpster diving if it means cherry-picking every tiny bit of representation that i can (yes, i know better things exist but, what can i say, im really into anime rn), but what i'm really worried about is the fucking hentai pervert transphobes overtaking the whole conversation surrounding this show and pushing away the people like me who would probably enjoy it. K-ON suffered this problem for years because of the alt-right 4chan memers, pushing so many people away from watching an absolute classic, and I desperately don't want it to happen again... (tho obviously this is nowhere near going to be a classic, especially of k-on's level lmao so it's not as big of a deal. most ppl wouldn't bother with this anyways, for... obvious reasons.)
and as for the pronoun situation... I'm going to stick with she/her. I totally get why people would use he/him because Mahiro, as she starts out on episode 1, is forced into the situation against her will and internally doesn't really identify as a female.
(this already paints a very Yikes picture if you treat it like a straight-up trans allegory, but I'll get into why I don't think that, despite obviously having a lot of aspects from the trans experience, it's not exactly trying to be that).
But aspirationally, enough clues have been left, even in ep 1, to suggest that, even if she doesn't feel like it now, there's a part of her that wants to accept that gender role—hell, she said a variation of the show's title, Oniichan wa Oshimai, all on her own. So even if, presently (or even for most of the show), she doesn't internally identify as a girl, she most certainly presents as one and is leaning into the role. This is a problem that's unique to fiction—in real life, there's no real way to tell how a person really identifies with other than the way that they present, or unless they tell others explicitly what they identify as. We can't get in their heads in the same way we can a fictional main character like Mahiro. Internally, she's going to have a lot of conflicted feelings about this—as do most teenagers who can afford to experiment with their identity. And I think I make the case in the next section how, even if internally Mahiro is still unsure and identifying as a male, being able to experiment and just live as a female, even for a little bit, can have so much value in clarifying for Mahiro whether this is really her or not. And it'd be much harder to live as that female if everyone around her was constantly using he/him pronouns for her. Even though it's more accurate to her identity presently, the whole point of the show is about Mahiro taking those steps outside of her comfort zone in order to open up more possibilities in her stagnant otaku lifestyle, and using her past pronouns would only work against those (albeit hesitant) steps that she's taking.
now, there are a lot of valid points against this as well, which is why I wouldn't ever blame anyone for using he/him or hating this show entirely (despite feeling angry abt it on the inside). Mainly that it was established very early on that the effect could be taken away whenever Mahiro wanted, and that inherently leaves an undertone throughout the whole show that there's a possibility that Mahiro is just going to go back to her former life at the end of the show.
Being trans isn't just an "outfit" that one can just take on and off at will—but that whole concept is the main driving force of this show.
こだわりとしてはみはりの前では普段の男子で、他のキャラクターの前では女子ではあるのでその違いを表現した点と、慌てると素が出てしまうところです。
- Shingo Fujii, Director (Source)
Mahiro uses オレ when in the privacy of her home, while in public she tries her best to use 私, and you could make an argument that it's implied that Mihari does the same thing when referring to Mahiro. It's literally the exact opposite of what trans people have to go through, who are often constantly forced to misgender themselves to avoid the threat of harassment. Despite being a genderbender show, it's not really meant to be a straight-up trans allegory, but rather, to be about the specific environment that Mahiro is in (that's completely separate from reality) where she can afford to experiment with gender and make new discoveries about herself. Much like an outfit that one puts on when leaving the house, the show really does lean in to the performative nature of gender as opposed to the more intrinsic nature of gender & transness. There's a lot of value in that for me, and I'm sure a lot of other questioning folks; but for people more sure about their identities and have been fighting for years trying to assert themselves in society's eye, I would not blame them at all if that stirred up a lot of contention in them.
#1
・I'm liking what the show's putting down so far. At least vibe-wise, and the premise is promising too. I'm not expecting anything revolutionary in terms of Gender here, but the particular situation that Mahiro is in where, even if she didn't ask for this, she'll learn to start playing into it, and maybe even seeing some perks to this new identity that she never would've come to terms with had she stayed as she was, in that lazy, stagnant comfort zone that's so characteristic of otaku. It really brings to highlight the value of experimentation, and how, no matter how much you think you're cis, or if you're like me and I think I'm non-binary/female, no amount of thinking of the hypotheticals could give you an accurate picture of what the actual experience of being a girl is actually like. The only way you'll be able to tell for sure is if you lean into the role and just... live as a girl for a while, and see how it feels. And seeing the environment that Mahiro is in in this show, where she's free to experiment without the fear of any bigotry coming her way... It really paints an ideal picture of what I would want (that's not so dissimilar from the kirarakei shows that I love): a low-pressure, supportive environment where Mahiro could explore her identity without any fear or shame.
This is all just me spouting out my thoughts btw, most of this is... not actually explored in this first episode, lol. But the fact that it was this show that spawned these thoughts in the first place—there's a lot of value in that, at least for me.
・Interesting adaptation choice at 12:46, where they make Mihari say ”なら、もうちょっと地味なのにしとく？" instead of the original's "じゃあ別のにしとく？" It's the addition of 地味 as the more masculine, plain style being offered to Mahiro. A subtle change, since Mahiro still has the same response of choosing these feminine clothes over the plain ones, but it really makes me feel like they're leaning into this narrative of her starting to get used to it—maybe they're taking the lesson from the later chapters, where apparently the mangaka actually gets better at handling the sensitivity here
・THEY,,,,,,,ADDED IN A HUG THAT WASN'T IN THE MANGA,,,,,,THE MUSIC AT THIS PART TOO AAAAA,,,,I ALREADY LOVE THIS AAAADFG,,,🥺🥺😭😭😭♥♥♥
・
"...But honestly, I've been in a strangely good mood recently. Like my body fits the situation that I'm in. I guess I should stop being the older brother, and stay like..."
EX,,,CUSE ME???? YESSSS AAAAAAAA AND THIS TAKING PLACE IN A SCENE OF THEM JOGGING TOGETHER AND MIHARI TRYING TO OPEN MAHIRO UP TO THE IDEA OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT,,,,,,where being a girl isn't just a weird quirk, but an actual step in her journey of bettering her life... god... this show is gonna destroy me, isn't it, and it'll do so purely by vague implications like this. And y'know what? I'M COMPLETELY FINE WITH THAT. I NEED MORE NOWWW
#2
Another pleasant episode, made even better thanks to Irei's penchant for strong, involved layouts.
This one that's looking in from the shelf particularly stood out to me, particularly with how it's used in context of the chapter. Its voyeuristic feel is admittedly discomforting, but the way we're peeking in at Mahiro's private space in her home is used in contrast to the later scenes in the hot spring, where Mahiro is out in the open a lot more with more attention placed on her. The way that Mihari then treats Mahiro like her younger sister out in public served as a great "a-ha" moment for me when I thought about the different usage of the layouts, where in the comfort in her own home, Mahiro is in her comfort zone and can indulge in her male-coded, NEET tendencies; but out in public, Mahiro starts presenting as a female—granted, maybe at first out of necessity, but once again it's those steps she's taking out of her comfort zone, outside of the comfort of her room, that she realizes that, hey, maybe she isn't all that against playing the little sister role for Mihari. Little discoveries like that wouldn't be possible had Mahiro stayed in her room, nor if Mihari didn't also fully lean into Mahiro's new role, at least in those times where she's experimenting.
Part B depicts Mahiro getting used to more of her female tendencies, to... varying levels of ease. Styling her hair in both cute and comfortable ways, and sitting in a more traditionally feminine style starts becoming, not only natural, but preferable to her. But then comes the (in)famous period chapter, which is used as yet another aspect of womanhood that Mahiro's becoming acquainted with, and also a nice bonding experience between her and Mihari. Periods may come normally to Mihari, and definitely aren't as big of a deal as Mahiro is making it out to be, but as viewed by the newbie Mahiro, it's something that Mahiro comes to learn & respect about the experience, to take both the good, fun aspects like dressing up along with the less desirable ones.
#4
mahiro: "oh thank god momiji's actually a girl i dont have to worry about falling in love with her", she says, just moments after she gets hopelessly flustered about being called a couple with her
um, HELLO??? LMAO. Mihari had a vision for Mahiro early in the ep as well, of her getting a boyfriend, and already Mahiro seems to be on the same page as her. with Mahiro attempting (and failing) to shoot down the prospect of her being female-attracted, in the same breath she pretty much just confirmed that she's accepting herself now, as either a straight trans female, or gay man now; but ofc she's obviously lying to herself (and even recognizes this in the scene straight after where she literally calls herself a lesbian), and it's just another step of her recognizing herself as a gay/bi female now,,,, and i just think that's really great, in literally no scenario here is mahiro gonna be living in hetero-cis-normativity anymore lmao. and ofc i never heard anyone talking about this part lol (not that i was particularly looking for discussion)
anyways, Momiji may be my new favorite? besides Mahiro maybe. But she was rly rly cute in this ep (her voice work especially was very nice!), with her being a bit boyish and not liking skirts so she was able to relate to Mahiro in that aspect,,, In the ep's outro we saw Momiji being jealous of Mahiro's boobs compared to her own (which... is ironic considering... well, just look at Mahiro, lol), so she obviously is confident in being a girl, and even seems to want to embrace more of that femininity as well. I doubt we'll be getting much more of this, but that bit of them saying "you'd look way cuter in a skirt than I would" to each other was soooo good, and I'd love if they'd both continue supporting each other in embracing their respective feminine sides.
#5
・lmao yessss when mahiro visited the arcade she couldn't help but skip out on the fighting games she would usually go to and immediately went to the "girly" photo booths that she wasn't allowed in before. it's rly become second nature to her now and i love it
・this production is obviously nowhere near as allowing of idiosyncrasies as yamasusu's, but even here Miyachi's round faces came through even stronger than they usually do in this show. so good!!!
・they're rly pushing the mahiro/momiji pairing and i am ALL FOR IT. i've been hoping to see mahiro go to school and that seems to be coming next episode, so excited!!!
#6
・Finally at the school episode!!! I was really itching for this, it was admittedly starting to get a bit stale. I appreciate why they took so long to get to this point though. The slow, low-pressure progress Mahiro's making is the whole point of this show, after all. Introducing all of Mahiro's new friends before she really starts her new outside-world life was an absolute must, and it was really sweet of Mihari to wait until Mahiro made those friends that could support her before sending her off to school. Mahiro's journey of self-discovery is great, but what really makes this show great is everyone else being there for her, so she doesn't have to take that journey all by herself!
・god part B instantly is getting to me,,,,, once again, Mahiro gets dressed in her uniform the very next day as if by instinct,,,almost as if she wants to go to school. Especially when you compare it to how she described her past life, the difference here is palpable, and it's all because she's able to present and be seen as a girl now. In a world where she can just be a girl, with absolutely no qualms, and you can see the immediate effect with her ability and desire to actually go out into the world and socialize with others... it really is the dream life, and that gender euphoria is something that I honestly can't even visualize in my own life. If I had lived in an environment as low-pressure and accepting as Mahiro's, I don't know if I'd be trans exactly, but I sure as hell wouldn't be as confused and unsure of myself as I am now... I can't help but feel envious, because even though it's framed in that idealistic kirara-like way, I know that a world like this isn't impossible to exist, but... the world we live in now is so far from this ideal that, even though this show makes me incredibly happy to watch, there's this tinge of existential dread that comes with it that's by no fault of this show. Case in point, it's pointed out here an interpretation of why Mahiro was aged down is precisely because of that dream to relive one's youth, except now as their post-transition identity. That dream is completely in the realm of impossible fantasy, but as someone who isn't even close to discovering myself in the way Mahiro has but still made a lot of progress, that desire to go back and relive those years with the clarity I have now... Ultimately I wouldn't want to go back in a million years, but that desire is still lowkey there in the back of my mind.
・this moment... def my fav part of the episode,,,,,😭🥺🥺🥰🥰🙏🙏 nice quiet moment in the middle of all this show's chaos, and also a sign that Mahiro's fully accepted them as her friends now 😭😭
#7
・Part A shows Mahiro now fully settled into school-life, immediately getting way better in that environment. I noticed that her saying 私 came to her completely naturally as well, which is really nice to see. Seeing her get more serious about studying, even if it's mainly motivated by a desire to fit in, really shows how much happier she is now.
Despite these signs of change though, there's ofc still parts that alienate Mahiro from her peers, with her spilling the question "what do girls normally talk about". Asahi tells her that she doesn't need to think too hard about it, that they all like that she seems happy talking about "boyish" things like video games. The camaraderie she felt with the boys was pretty nice, but once again... just another thing that really sets it apart from an actual trans allegory, because I haven't heard of many trans people who want anything to do with their AGAB. But the role it serves in the show is clear that, thanks to that change in perspective with the freedom that Mihari gave Mahiro from her previously stagnant lifestyle, Mahiro realizes just how much she's always had to be grateful to Mihari for.
#9
momiji x mahiro was very strong this ep and i am here for it
yes that's all i have to say about this ep and no i will not elaborate
#12
WOW... this episode... pretty much everything I could've hoped for. Not only Gender-wise, but the ways that they melded together Mahiro's self-acceptance as a female and her love for her friends and her new life with them. They've always been one-in-the-same with this show, but this episode specifically frames that in the lens of what you'd see in the best kirara-kei shows.
If Mahiro gives up her womanhood, she also gives up this life where she's clearly so, so much happier. This episode in particular—putting them in the scenario of the onsen in contrast with Irei's #2—really is taking the strides to convey how all the girls have accepted Mahiro as one of their own. The resulting dysphoria Mahiro feels from this (even if it's spurred on by the medicine wearing off) forces her to really think about the question that's been brewing for the entire show: Is Mahiro finally going to accept this as herself, without the prodding of Mihari? All those times where she was caught looking in the mirror, trying on a new hairstyle, or cute clothes, or adult-looking lipstick, she's reacted all tsundere about it when it's so obvious that she likes this version of herself so much more. She just can't stop herself from "indulging" in it, at least on a purely habitual level. And this first real, conscious choice on her part to take the medicine was a really nice cathartic release that's been building up for the entire show... Even if it was forced on her at first, even if she didn't see this as herself for the longest time... the slow process of her coming to make these revelations about herself and how it's vastly improving her interpersonal relationships, purely just from an appearance change (once again, the performative nature of gender is key here) is something that I find genuinely inspiring.
It's obviously not the same thing, but I feel like you'd really have to be viewing this show in bad faith if you can't see how at least this aspect of the show isn't at all comparable to the trans experience. But more importantly for me, the fact that it tackles that through the idealistic kirara-kei perspective that I hold so dear to myself, is really something I'm so grateful for. And to think that its narrative goals have been executed so well through the clear passion the staff have poured into every single episode (even if I feel like those goals could've been a bit more ambitious and forward with its messaging), resulting in a visual spectacle that I would actually hold on the same level as yamasusu (the crossover on a large chunk of the staff is no coincidence...) and the best of golden-age dogakobo, is truly something worth praising. Wholeheartedly.