So its the time for cohost post postmortems, and I could and probably will talk about the actual experience of being here and the possibilities it opened up for me that I feel I didn't take advantage of (all those unwritten long posts...). But when I think about cohost on a grand scale, its inevitable I'll think about its policies, what it tried to stand for, where I agreed and disagreed, and the long discourse and deliberation on what ultimately would and wouldn't be allowed on here. Its just the curse I bear, if I could care less, I would.
In hindsight, I feel it was silly to think cohost would even come close to the place people would go to to post, host and share their weird, niche sexual art, even before getting into the really contentious stuff and moderation of it. Its telling, that despite some incredibly permissive policy and extensive CW tools, the main form of posting became text posts and CSS crimes; its what the site was setup to do. The question of moderation would've still remained though, and for the time where we seriously entertained all of this, looking back, its kind of incredibly refreshing to see the conversation was even allowed to be had in the first place. A lot of digital ink was spilt on condemning the staff's "waffling" and indecision (specially on other platforms), treated on both ends as an obvious, foregone conclusion, but I seriously struggle to think of anywhere where this was even considered or taken seriously along with the community. It wasn't just a place where porn would be allowed, welcomed, and even encouraged to exist alongside everything else, it was started from the perspective of the queer, the kinky and the weird; with actual harm reduction, not just the aesthetics of it, as a top level consideration. I'm not going to pretend the discussion didn't get incredibly heated and toxic, but something about the way this place self-selected for people willing to read and talk meant a surprising amount of people did. I saw people have a space to seriously and emphatically make their case, and others stop to listen and consider it, even through disagreement. I don't think any of that makes up for any harassment or heartache in the end, nor all the associations it left cohost with, but there was something there.
The final decision was predictable and expected, even with the funny (and telling) stumble getting there. For all it amounted to, it could've been avoided from the get-go. Staff probably was naive in opening up the conversation, but it gave me a glimpse at an actual dialogue.
I'm, for now, enjoying myself on bluesky completely unfiltered, but protocol promises aside, I can't help but feel intimately that its all on borrowed time, as precarious a situation as anywhere else online. Its been proven where their rules stand and they're if anything, more restrictive than on here, and its only through a blind eye that anything on the edges has been allowed to thrive. Much like twitter, when the topic is discussed, it becomes more of a team sports yelling match than anything else, the majority of people involved being queer there doesn't really change much. Its a reason to come at people's throats, to signal your moral superiority, only slightly dampened and held in check by the blocking tools on there (which, if anything, become a part of the meta). The timer on the game is shorter, but its still the same game being had, instead of an earnest conversation. Carving out a space in a room somewhere you're not allowed is not really the same as being welcomed.
There is, honestly speaking, no online space I've ever felt welcomed in. Cohost was no exception.
There is only people: friends, partners, acquaintances, that I know, and know me.
Community, in any sort of institutional or public facing level, is not something I'll ever be afforded, them's the breaks.
But hey, thanks for not instantly ruling it out, for listening and even slightly entertaining the idea, the alternative would've been much easier and painless.