hmm. starting to wonder if the intense depressive symptoms can't entirely be attributed to this one hyperfixation, that a large part of it might be me experiencing stronger emotions than I'm used to
I've had trans friends say "yeah you're gonna reexperience puberty during this process" and so maybe this has been the first major instance. I've definitely gotten hit with an overwhelming need for non-sexual affection and more crushing existentialism than I've had before
I've cultivated such a specific self-impression over the last few years, and it's really starting to change