It sucks a little! Like, it's great to have an explanation for a lot of my life that goes beyond "lol git gud noob," but that gets kinda offset by the new anxious self-consciousness. (Some of which, to be fair, may stem from my slightly-less-recently-unleashed fondness for the hobbits' pipeweed. Another damn thing I should really cut back on.)
(Indeed, it's impossible to separate anything I'm feeling from the overall discourse/malaise/psychic maelstrom. I mean come on, it turns out that autism and gender diversity have some sort of link?? You gave the unemployed middle-aged socialist cis hetero* white guy a link from currently-in-contention identity politics to his own identity, what the hell kind of nightmare are you trying to unleash)
(I think I'm actually doing okay on this front but if that changes lmk)
Also there is a... flavor? of autism known as pathological demand avoidance, sometimes rebranded as "persistent drive for autonomy" by people who don't like the pejorative odor of "pathological." I am a big, big candidate for having this, and in the US in particular I don't feel I have much hope of getting support of any kind. It's already bad enough just for being an adult with autism - I think we're all assumed to be safely ensconced in quant jobs somewhere, rather than serially laid off by tech companies until I finally haven't caught an interview in a year. (I am incredibly fortunate to have family who 1) don't want me to be homeless and 2) are in a position to do something about it, but that help is limited, and contingent on the perceptions and whims of a literal Boomer. Who is probably also on the spectrum.)
In short, would anyone like to be an angel investor in a startup that may or may not ever ship anything that makes any money? That used to be a popular enough thing to do, I dunno