And I'm really excited to go, but I'm getting weirdly nervous about it, too. This will be my second photowalk with this group, and I feel like I didn't super gel with a lot of them. Not in a bad way, just in the way that I sometimes forget, post-pandemic, that meeting new people is hard. That meeting new people won't be like meeting up with friends that I've had for a long time. That meeting new people means remembering a lot of names and coming out of your shell by degrees—muscles that I haven't had to exercise a lot over the last few years.
I'm also nervous that the trip is going to be a waste. I haven't been shooting much the last few weeks. I think only a roll or two, and hardly any digital. But I am trying to be conscious of that fear while also trying to tamp it down. I don't like the part of myself that sometimes says to me, "Well, if you haven't practiced in a bit, you're going to be worse than last time, and if you're worse than last time then there's no point in doing it this time." I love improving at things and practicing—not just photography but in a general sense—and it sucks that my brain can take a healthy desire and turn it into a fear.
Brains are rude.