While perhaps not the polar opposite of Willa Ford, this is pretty far out there on the opposite axis: a somewhat novelty rock track -- as in, the album it comes from is called Novelty Rock -- by a Britrock group who made one of Charlie Brooker's desert-island discs
What I like about this is how the '80s-stately soft-rock arrangement and unsubtle title (repeated dozens of times, because if you do this title, you have to do the title) mask an amount of bitterness somewhere between the Smiths and "No Children." Each time I listen, every one of these elements just intensifies even more.
Bonus: Irish artists Jape and David Kitt's unrelated "I Will Cry This Christmas": same title, less bitter, more tweemo.