Mouri Sunlight

IF YOU HAVE AN ACCOUNT IN ELDER SCROLLS ONLINE, AND YOU PLAY ON THE NORTH AMERICA SERVER, JOIN KiLlEr JeStEr GaNg (listed in guild finder), A GUILD FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE FUNNY POSTS AND/OR CLOWN MAKEUP AND/OR COULD KILL THE SUN.

ALSO REMEMBER YOU HAVE 5 GUILD SLOTS IN ESO, NOT 1

THE GUILD RECRUITING FOR THE FOLLOWING EVENTS:

• Jine Jeleven, our annual juggalo-themed 9/11 reenactment party (2/2 firefighters, 4/20 victims, 1/1 pilots, 2/0 towers please apply)
• A wake being held for legendary comedian Brian "Limmy" Limond, who isn't dead but will probably die some day, at which point our long con will pay off
• Not an event more like a random recurring thing, trying to get people together who are really good at dungeons so we can do some low-player-count challenges, like 4-man dragons, harrowstorm duets, etc. like the limmy wake is fake and nobody's actually signed up for jine jeleven yet but this one is 100% real please
• Guild hall opening ceremony (you're gonna shit bricks out your ass when you see the guild hall)

THE GUILD ALSO NOW HAS A DISCORD SERVER, JOIN IT FOR FUNNY CLOWN GIRL BOUNCING SEX WEED DRUG

IF YOU DON'T HIT 100% SATISFACTION WITHIN MONTHS OF JOINING, I'LL honestly evaluate the rate of & reasons for satisfaction and decide on how to feel about it after doing so anD THEN (if it's appropriate) I'LL FUKCIN CRIED

i need people in my dms who play elder scrolls online fuckin hell i just did some shit that was fuckin nasty and gotta brag

so the queer representation is, kind of ironically, right on the real ratio of queer to nonqueer irl, but i noticed that lebinsiasm is massively overrepresented. i dont know if ive run into a single man-for-man couple in the entire game yet, it feels like all of the gay rep cup is filled entirely with lesbian juice and you're just told to imagine a hint of MAN SEX in there by the person who mixed it cus they ran out of dudelovers.

has anyone who has played ESO located where the manfags are? are there manfags? i need to go to the manfag exhibit.

(while writing this: i just remembered that federo is gay for sharp-as-night. anyone who hasnt tried out the necrom chapter yet, sharp's entire storyline is that gay shit)

you may have noticed, if you've payed close attention to any depictions of vampires you come across in video games and books as I have, that many depictions of vampires can be reduced to "faggy" or "fashy". indeed, I have noticed most depictions I've paid attention to can be categorized on a sliding scale between "faggy" and "fashy", with extremely few being both or neither, except when the vampires are just monsters (booooooooooooo)

obviously, this isn't the only set of details you can use making some sort of metadata about vampire depictions, but this is one that's extremely common for depictions to fall on nowadays. so here's a weird, unstructured list of random vampire depictions I can think of off the top of my head and where they fall on this scale. it ranges from -10 for superfashy, to +10 for superfaggy. also i can say it dont worry

• elder scrolls online house ravenwatch: +8 for elder transes and latent homos. verandis is a really good transgender allegory imo, and fennorian has fagswag
• skyrim volkihar: -3 most of them are kinda fashy but they got some of the good ones in there iirc. im not going to open skyrim to check
• elder scrolls online volkihar: +6 if you side with valeric, -10 if you side with majorn. valeric's side has a catboy who has you throw piss at random people in the forest for anarchist reasons, like really
• ultrakill: +10 i hope that i dont need to explain this one
• genfanad: -10 i havent played in a bit and there was a huge whole-game rework apparently, so this is the vampires in genfanad like this time last year, but they were horrific. farming ppl and all that, not a single queer in sight
• slime rancher: look im gonna count tarrs as vampires just to have an excuse to talk about slime rancher ok? 0, dead-centre, they dont really have a cultural force to be faggy or fashy. however they're not monsters in this case imo bcus they're on the same level as slimes and i consider slimes to be lil guys and not beastes
• rogue legacy: +2 not a whole lot to go on here, however it's imbued into your clothing, so im gonna say a lil faggy since it's an accessorization
• twilight: -9 i hope that i dont need to explain this one

ok thanks thats all i can recall right now, my brain has been deep-fried in a vat of elder scrolls online recently