Mouri Sunlight

6:00 AM Eastern, 2024-06-07 (because that's right before bedtime for me right now)

Get ready for a cat fact that will fumble local political turmoil in the face of a great and powerful foe, then get assassinated by a furry who reeks of their gaming room!

Also, I'm announcing a Cat Facts hiatus. I was picked up to soundtrack a game and need to focus on that game and the album I'm still recording, cannot be worrying about writing the new Cat Facts background every 7 weeks. I might just return to Cat Facts soon anyways, though.

if you were making gay skyrim, which of these aspects do you think would be the most important to get perfect in portrayal and delivery? totally real poll

• (70 votes) choosing the perfect alduin meow
• (419 votes) delivering ralof's famous line where he calls lokir a "faggot" perfectly
• (20 votes) perfecting the art of volleying cock puns at the player
• (420 votes) representing underappreciated queer groups perfectly, like lokir (wlw latent homos) or ralof (transmasc lesbians)
• (3 votes) having a real life grungler voice ulfric stormcloak's famous muffled grunt

you may have noticed, if you've payed close attention to any depictions of vampires you come across in video games and books as I have, that many depictions of vampires can be reduced to "faggy" or "fashy". indeed, I have noticed most depictions I've paid attention to can be categorized on a sliding scale between "faggy" and "fashy", with extremely few being both or neither, except when the vampires are just monsters (booooooooooooo)

obviously, this isn't the only set of details you can use making some sort of metadata about vampire depictions, but this is one that's extremely common for depictions to fall on nowadays. so here's a weird, unstructured list of random vampire depictions I can think of off the top of my head and where they fall on this scale. it ranges from -10 for superfashy, to +10 for superfaggy. also i can say it dont worry

• elder scrolls online house ravenwatch: +8 for elder transes and latent homos. verandis is a really good transgender allegory imo, and fennorian has fagswag
• skyrim volkihar: -3 most of them are kinda fashy but they got some of the good ones in there iirc. im not going to open skyrim to check
• elder scrolls online volkihar: +6 if you side with valeric, -10 if you side with majorn. valeric's side has a catboy who has you throw piss at random people in the forest for anarchist reasons, like really
• ultrakill: +10 i hope that i dont need to explain this one
• genfanad: -10 i havent played in a bit and there was a huge whole-game rework apparently, so this is the vampires in genfanad like this time last year, but they were horrific. farming ppl and all that, not a single queer in sight
• slime rancher: look im gonna count tarrs as vampires just to have an excuse to talk about slime rancher ok? 0, dead-centre, they dont really have a cultural force to be faggy or fashy. however they're not monsters in this case imo bcus they're on the same level as slimes and i consider slimes to be lil guys and not beastes
• rogue legacy: +2 not a whole lot to go on here, however it's imbued into your clothing, so im gonna say a lil faggy since it's an accessorization
• twilight: -9 i hope that i dont need to explain this one

ok thanks thats all i can recall right now, my brain has been deep-fried in a vat of elder scrolls online recently