namelessWrench

A Jeb With No Name

@namelessWrench

The Only Rotten Dollhart Webring

A hideous fruit, disgracing itself.

Allo-Aro

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namelessWrench
@namelessWrench
mrfb
@mrfb
mrfb
@mrfb

oh god

oh no

it’s monday and a wizard has decided to use magic to mess with you

OGONIMAAWHDTUMTMWY 2023-09-18

it happened again. a wizard, using their magical ability to open all locks, broke into your home and has kidnapped you. two burly assistants made out of stars scooped you up in your sleep and deposited you in a locked room in the wizard’s tower.

the wizard is quite determined to try out a new spell they’ve been working on, which will turn you into a car.

namelessWrench
@namelessWrench

I'll Be Her

She's been a jet, a boat, and a motorcycle.

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in reply to @mrfb's post:

caladblog
@caladblog

as i’m currently waiting for class to begin, surrounded by dudes who drive massive overcompensating pickups, i’m deciding to become something small & speedy. i will spend the rest of my days hissing insults at them, and every tesla i see, until i am inevitably totaled on the interstate (this is not a marked change in my daily life)

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mrfb
@mrfb

the two burly assistants made of stars relay your wishes to the wizard, who nods fervently and hurries off into another room.

one of the burly assistants made of stars scoops you up and throws you (surprisingly gently!) over their shoulder, carrying you up the circular stairs to the roof of the tower. you are in the middle of an elaborate diagram painted in motor oil, and after some ceremony, one of the burly assistants made of stars gently inserts a glowing key into your heart and turns it.

your new engine feels powerful, unstoppable. you understand immediately so many new things. as the bones in your arms de-ossify and fuse into the rest of your body to become a steel frame, you become keenly aware of your new vehicular form: you are now a mini cooper. but something seems… different. somewhere in the transformation you began to understand part compositions. your engine, it’s, why… it’s twice as powerful as the stock engine used in factory-fresh cooper minis!

the wizard gives you a wink. the two burly assistants pick you up and carry you down to the ground floor, where they leave you. there is a large sign here that you can read that says “HONEST URNITOMILDMOS’S CARS AND VEHICLES”

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two
@two

reading this post, having forgotten what day the music friday posts are made on, desperately trying to work out how it's going to segue into asking me what music i've listened to lately

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modulusshift
@modulusshift

Is this one not obvious? I become Herbie the Love Bug lmao

And excited to know I will outlast humanity as long as I can figure out the whole microorganisms in space thing, I'll get on it after a few decades

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we-did-the-time-warp-again
@we-did-the-time-warp-again

I check my watch. I have an hour before the wizard gets here. I take off at a run to the subway, and take the train into Manhattan. I take it all the way to 34th street, and dash my way into the Empire State Building, where I bribe the security guards to let me go up to the highest floor they'll allow. I ride the elevator, checking behind me for the wizard's approach. Ding. Here I am. I take in the beautiful scenic vista right as the wizard comes up behind me. I experience the most excruciating pain known to human kind as I am rapidly and violently transformed into a semi-truck loaded with a dozen tonnes of marshmallow fluff. Only god knows if the Empire State Building can withstand this sudden internal stress.

and yeah idrc what happens after that

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