while scrolling through facebook i left a comment on a post shared by a public facebook page. some cis dude walked in and started directly insulting me and my appearance, likely because im one of those pinko commies or whatever and opposing opinions hurt his feelings.
now, i gotta be honest: about five years ago, the shit he was saying would have genuinely hurt. if it was any other time in my past, it would have hurt.
but these days? in the words of LA Knight, "NAH NAH!" not happenin. the modifications i've done to my body are transgressive. they violate the norm. it's punk rock, and boy howdy do i love being punk rock. i got tattoos, i want more tattoos, and i don't have piercings but i want piercings. i got small tits, but they're my tits. i want the whole trifecta. I want White America to look upon me in horror and disgust, because White America is horrifying and disgusting to me, too.
nah, these days the bile being spat at me is affirmation. it's encouragement. it means i'm going in the exact direction in my life that I want to go and embodying the exact kind of person i want to be. im not the fake who listened to "we're not gonna take it" by twisted sisters on MTV and then became the exact type of people twisted sisters weren't taking it from. i won't be squeezed into conformity in a way that makes anybody comfortable but the most incredible freaks on the planet.
this includes the gated White American queer community. i refuse to 'pass.' i refuse to be the type of tranny who points at others and says "see, im not like THOSE freaks, im one of the GOOD ONES." i refuse to be the type of queer who is easily marketable and ideologically pure. to embrace any of that shit is to welcome death itself into my own home and let it drink my fucking coffee.
nobody can fucking touch me. i am unstoppable, inevitable and unbreakable. their rhetoric is my caffeine, my cocaine, my nicotine, my fuckin life blood. i am a vampire who feeds on the insecurities of White America. i welcome White America to tell me how much they hate me, because i know for a fact when i was a miserable little boy, i was doing the same shit to all the cool, popular kids too.
i am the cool, popular kid now. i am exactly who i wanted to be, and they are the exact same losers they thought they'd never become.