sorry for being kinda, nonexistent lately?
i simply do not have anything that feels worth saying on here
or the attention span to read long-form posts
or the drive to look at art when i don't feel able to comm any
or.. i dunno social media is just depressing lately, even on the allegedly "better" sites
i feel like i need to clarify something here. the media i'm exposed to has not been inherently depressing
i am just in a prolonged state where painful longing for living my life is the primary emotion, and watching other people live theirs from the "safety" of my fishbowl is pretty soul-crushing
i can't even pick out tv shows to watch or music to listen to. i'm barely existing outside of hyperfixations and they don't bring nearly as much comfort as they used to.