There's queers in the Williams-Sonoma
And they have no intention of buying things
They're just here to look and drool over
Artisanal salts, shiny knives, kitchen supplies
And the rich straight couples pretend
That the three queers who just came inside
To get out of the oppressive summer heat
And are clearly some sort of throuple that
They're just normals in the Williams-Sonoma
Like the rich, happy Chelsea gay couples
The straight couples act like they're fine with
But they're too tall, and they're too hairy
Too affectionate in public with each other
And clearly can't afford these products
Why can't they just be normal, acceptable queers
Monogamous, conventional, invisible
That would get the real bigots off their backs
If they stopped insisting on they/them pronouns
Didn't dye their hair those unnatural colors
Making their entire identity all about gender
But the queers in the Williams-Sonoma
They don't give two shits about the straights
All they want is some artisanal salts, knives
And bougie dreams inside the air conditioning