Anonymous User asked:

So my mom keeps misgendering me and deadnaming me every once in a while (and also is 100% opposed to my vaginoplasty) and thinks I could detranstion in the future. Sometimes I feel like cutting all ties with her, but well, the thing is that she's my mom and I love her very much.

Where do you think one should draw the line in these kinds of situations?

I'm honestly not sure I'm the right person to answer this kind of question, for two reasons: first, my family was totally chill about transition; and second, I'm extremely stubborn and will absolutely tear into someone with a willingness to cut off contact as soon as they make it clear that they're not acting in good faith. Hopefully some people with more experience and less pigheadedness will be able to chime in in the comments.


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in reply to @nex3's post:

im so sorry anon. im not even out to my mom, and ive been in minimal contact territory with my (quite large, extended) family for other reasons, but i get that.

personally ive come to terms with the fact that the love i have for my family doesnt extend to letting them bully me, and if i have to take a "dont feed the trolls" approach to my family, i have and i will. if they cant react well to my queerness and politics, then they just dont get to know them. and if my dad will only ever talk to me about shitty violent conservative politics, then i just dont talk to him, lol. but i know id still visit them if they were hospitalized. if something bad happened id make sure theyre okay. id still probably try to help them if i felt like they were in harms way, even, because they have thst value to me.

maybe thats the same thing as cutting someone off to some? its not like im blocking their numbers, and we are NOT the type of family to talk all the time anyway, but it works for me! i get to have boundaries this way. it risks having your family be able to get frustrated with you about it, but i have no real advice on that, since "i just dont want to" always works for me