Hamlet: I see him, Horatio... my father...
Horatio: OMG me too! Where'd you see him?
Hamlet: In my mind's eye, obviously. What the fuck are you talking about?
Horatio: uuuuUUUUUHH
Ophelia: So my brother was telling me how much Hamlet's a fuckboy for the millionth time, and he starts talking about my "chaste treasure".
Ophelia's girlfriends: Eeeeeew! Your brother?
Ophelia: I know, right? You shouldn't even be thinking about my chaste treasure, Laertes.
Ophelia's girlfriends: Who is he to talk anyway?
Ophelia: Right? Dude is such a slut!
King Hamlet's Ghost: *two pages of bitching about how much it sucks to be dead*
King Hamlet's Ghost: oh shit morning's coming, let me finish up quick
King Hamlet's Ghost: *two more pages of bitching about how he got murked by his brother*
Polonius: Okay I'm gonna need you to take some cash and messages to my son in Paris
Reynaldo: No problem
Polonius: And, you know, spy on him a bit
Reynaldo: I was planning on it already
Polonius: Say you know his family, say you've met him...
Reynaldo: Can do
Polonius: Maybe make up some mean lies about him, nothing too nasty
Reynaldo: I can call him a gamer
Polonius: Exactly, and a drunken foul-mouthed slut, that sort of thing
Reynaldo: That seems a bit harsh
Polonius: Don't worry about it
any British filmed production of Hamlet that doesn't stunt cast Gary Oldman and Tim Roth as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern gets demerits in my book
on the other hand I adore this production's decision to have Hamlet give "To be or not to be" in the world's stupidest t-shirt
@PositronicWoman: Is that David Tennant in the Hamlet picture you posted?
Me: Yeah!
@PositronicWoman: How's he doing?
Me: Bad!
Use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping?
how is this not one of the super famous lines from this play, damn
This play has a lot more jokes in it than I realized. I mean I know all the tragedies have jokes to some degree but there are multiple monologues here that are just razzing characters (mostly Polonius, but also Hamlet when he's giving direction to the players) for being blowhards
Nay, do not think I flatter, dost thou hear?
Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
And could of men distinguish, her election
Hath seal'd thee for herself.
Holy shit, that's one of the most romantic lines I've ever heard in Shakespeare and it's from Hamlet to Horatio
Claudius: So you're gonna duel, but Hamlet will have a blunt dueling rapier and yours will be actually sharp
Laertes: Just to make absolutely sure I'm gonna poison it too
Liz: I don't know about that buddy, having Hamlet Jr. die of poison after Hamlet Sr. already did is a bit on the nose
Claudius: Hmm, wait, let's think about this.
Liz:: See? Thank you.
Claudius: If you don't get him with it he might figure out the plan, so we'll need a backup...
Liz: Um
Claudius: ...Hamlet's gonna get thirsty, so I'll poison his drink too
Liz: Oh my GOD
