nic

game? designer??

  • they/them

various credits on:
The Banished Vault
Arcsmith
John Wick Hex
Quarantine Circular
Subsurface Circular
Vienna Automobile Society
Sun Dogs

 

P&P microgames:
In the Court of the Skeleton King
The Garden
Tallships

 
Chicago



matthewseiji
@matthewseiji

20th Century Food Court is one of the games-within-a-game in Zachtronics’ final game, Last Call BBS. The idea in Last Call BBS is that you’re pirating games on an old computer vaguely reminiscent of an Amiga or PC-98. We had back stories for each game, including who the developers were, so 20th Century Food Court was fictionally created by a company called Zachmatics, located in Harrogate, UK. Zachmatics was Zachary McGann, one of the so-called “bedroom coders” of this time and place who were making and releasing games from their homes. In some ways McGann is a kind of back-in-time British doppelganger of Zachtronics founder Zach Barth.

The game itself also has a story. In the far future, there’s a theme park called The 20th Century Experience where curious tourists can go and look at how people used to live way back in the twentieth century. Zach (the real Zach) liked the idea that the people of the far future would have some spotty research and wouldn’t always get things right, leading them to do things like serving cigarettes as food in their “authentic Parisian cafe,” and so on. In the game, you design factories to create the different food items. Each level is based on a specific restaurant concept. There’s a brief description of the restaurant in the menu, sometimes highlighting the misunderstandings the people of the future have about how things worked, and when you finish the level, you get a selection of “customer reviews” of the food, for no real reason other than we thought it would be funny (technically, customer reviews like this didn’t really happen until well into the internet era and wouldn’t have existed when this game was supposed to have come out, but that didn’t stop us).

Anyway, I enjoyed writing these. They’re even better when seen in game, as the character portraits give each review a sort of “SimCity 2000 advisor” feel. Plus, there’s plenty more fun bits of text to discover in Last Call BBS. You’ll have to play the game to find them! Or just look at the data files, it’s all there.


Sushi Yeah! (Sushi bar)

Though it may be hard to believe today, fish were once so plentiful they were harvested by the boatload. Hearken back to those glory days with sushi featuring a carefully bioengineered recreation of genuine tuna, salmon, and more.

★★★★☆ | krystal_lyman
Was finally able to taste this food which has a kind of near-mythic status in certain corners... and I was not disappointed. I can see why it is something people talk about.

★★★★★ | TheYear2000
A veritable cornucopia of ineluctable flavours. A+

★★★★★ | Orpheus
Always wanted to try tuna ever since I read about how it disappeared. It’s good! No wonder people overfished it.


Sweet Heat BBQ (Texas barbecue)

Imagine purchasing grilled meat by the pound! It wasn’t imagination to the people of the 20th century, who could often be found chowing down on simple but meticulously prepared foods such as these foodstuffs described in the Dallas Codex.

★★★★☆ | Kingfisher999
My great-grandfather's memory matrix used to talk about this so we tried it out. Seemed pretty much like the real thing as far as I could tell.

★☆☆☆☆ | Granola King
They should do their research. Ribs were not even invented until much later than the time period this establishment purports to evoke.

★★★★★ | Hungry_Ghost
Pretty good


Meat+3 (Southern “meat and three”)

Historians are divided on the origin of the traditional Southern “meat and three,” though most agree that each of the various “sides,” as they were called, held great spiritual significance as representations of mankind’s sins.

★★★★☆ | TheOtherMan
It’s meat, it’s three, what’s not to like

★★★★★ | Orpheus
I’ve always heard about the South but never really knew about it. Now I feel like I have truly experienced Southern culture.

★★★☆☆ | borneojam
Naming a region after a relative direction seems kinda loopy but what are you gonna do with those ancient humans


On the Fried Side (Fried chicken)

The ancient peoples of the 20th century often stopped by the roadside on their commutes to and from their employment jobs to enjoy this snack, consisting of a dismembered bird dipped into hot oil and seasoned with generous amounts of salt.

★★☆☆☆ | krystal_lyman
My friend was trying to describe ‘fried chicken’ as like, a thing, but couldn’t imagine it. Now that I tried it, I can confirm it sucks.

★★★★★ | Hungry_Ghost
Hell ya

★★★★☆ | chrisr
Came here with my wife. My wife has a sensitive palate but she says she enjoyed this. She (my wife) says she wouldn’t mind if we came here again. So that’s the review from my wife.


Soda Trench (Cola wars)

Without much in the way of control over their lives, 20th century people often tied their identities to symbolic constructs known as “brands.” When the brands clashed, so did the people, perhaps no more famously so than in the brutal and deadly “Cola Wars.”

★★★★☆ | Kingfisher999
People these days don’t know how easy and carefree we have it. In ancient times they were fighting actual wars over soft drinks.

★★☆☆☆ | getmeouttahere
They were the same thing!!

★★★★★ | Hungry_Ghost
Bepis


Wine O’Clock (Wine bar)

A staple of any ancient human’s consumption patterns, the alcoholic fermented grape juice known as “wine” came in thousands of varieties and was priced expensively enough to plausibly explain its overuse as a kind of inoffensive hobby.

★☆☆☆☆ | Granola King
Expensive, tastes sour and gross. Old time humans were weird

★★★★★ | chrisr
Wine was a mark of sophistication among people of the 20th century and it’s easy to see why. I detected notes of soy lecithin, cinnabon, mouthfeel, and normcore.

★★★☆☆ | TheOtherMan
Didn’t know wine was alcoholic!


Mr. Chilly (Soft-serve ice cream)

A type of iced cream that became popular throughout dining establishments of the time period, “soft serve” was an inexpensive treat the whole pod could enjoy. Note that this product is served cold at a period-accurate temperature of –273.15°C.

★★★☆☆ | Hungry_Ghost
Cold??

★☆☆☆☆ | TheYear2000
An illogical way to distribute the substance.

★★★★★ | rockabyebaby
I took a date here but we had a fight, so I was standing there alone and angry and holding my ice cream… it was the perfect old-time human experience.


The Walrus (Cocktail bar)

Culinary fashions changed over the course of the 20th century, but there was always a place for cocktails: small vials of liquid made from the admixture of several reagents. To be a “true” cocktail, at least three different colours of liquid must be combined.

★★★☆☆ | BubbaG
It didn’t taste good, but I am told it was more for the visual, so I guess it was OK.

★★★★☆ | borneojam
I felt just like someone in the 20th century…

★★☆☆☆ | krystal_lyman
SOOO complicated!!! You have a bunch of bottles of different stuff and you have to measure it or mix it or shake it or whatever… give me a break!!


Breakside Grill (Gourmet hamburgers)

No enthusiast of the 20th century lifestyle would pass up the opportunity to enjoy one of its most iconic repasts, the hamburger. Anthropologists believe that paying too much for a “gourmet” version of this basic meat-and-bread assemblage was a cherished tradition among urban professionals.

★★☆☆☆ | chrisr
No orange slices or other citrus add-ons... so much for the authentic burger experience.

★★★★☆ | rockabyebaby
My dad would always go on about how ancient tech workers paid huge prices for mediocre hamburgers, so he’s happy that I got to experience it firsthand.

★★★★★ | GlitterDeath
Came here as part of a field trip with my first form class. The kids are always so shocked that this is how people used to live!


Original Hot Pocket Experience (Hot pocket)

Recently unearthed from an underground cache and frozen for over seven hundred years, these original Hot Pockets are as fresh as the day they were made by the ancients themselves. Don’t miss out! Available for a limited time only.

★☆☆☆☆ | rockabyebaby
They say these are from 700 years ago but I don’t believe it. I know times were tough back then but there’s no way ancient people put up with these.

★★★★☆ | BubbaG
Ever since I read that ancient warriors would eat these for their “raids” and “dungeons” I have wanted to taste them…

★★★★★ | TheYear2000
We like to make fun of people in olden times but there were some things they got right.


Café Triste (Parisian cafe)

Many of the 20th century’s greatest and most famous writers spent time in Parisian cafés, drinking coffee and munching on small burritos stuffed with dried leaves, called “cigarettes.” Sit here and let the bohemian atmosphere wash over you!

★★★☆☆ | chrisr
More like a concept than a food stall. The cigarettes were very dry and hard to swallow, but the flavour was pretty good.

★★☆☆☆ | borneojam
No idea what this was all about. Little breads??

★★★★★ | GlitterDeath
C'était parfait


2-12 (Convenience store)

A showcase of all the richness and variety the ancients had to offer. Pretzels and nachos, foods from opposite ends of the earth, commingle harmoniously in this demonstration of the sheer power and scale of the 20th century’s great trade caravans.

★★★★★ | Orpheus
Really gives you a sense of what life was like for these people. Everyone should experience it at least once in their lives.

★★★★☆ | Shonagon72
My boyfriend could NOT stop talking about this place. I kinda get it but I kinda don’t???

★☆☆☆☆ | Granola King
They stopped free slushie day :(


Rosie’s Doughnuts (Donut bakery)

These special cakes were the central part of an important employment ritual where sacred offerings were made to the god of successful careers. The round shape with the hole in the middle symbolised “the grind,” the virtuous and endless cycle of work.

★★★★☆ | secretisout
The “donut” was a kind of sweetened, fried dough used as a reward or motivational tool by local rulers… and are WE any better? Makes you think.

★★★★★ | Hungry_Ghost
Tasty……….

★★☆☆☆ | Kingfisher999
Doesn’t seem that hard to make these... dunno what the big deal is.


Kazan (Pelmeni)

These small edible sustenance pockets are perfect for sampling and sharing. By ingeniously reducing the size of one systemic food unit, pelmeni approaches a continuous volume while still maintaining its status as an assemblage of discrete objects.

★★★★☆ | secretisout
These are cute, they are like little foods, the point is to eat a few, not just one. The small size means easy distribution options for groups.

★★★★★ | rockabyebaby
Dang… how cool it would be to go back in time and actually eat this…

★★★★☆ | BubbaG
Fun for the whole family, at least if you get the right number per person. Ha!


Belly’s (Fast food)

Many claim to understand 20th century “fast food” culture, but only we have studied it carefully and meticulously enough to present a definitive recreation. Everything from the “cheesed burger” to the monolithic, imposing “french fry” is represented here!

★★★★☆ | getmeouttahere
The common notion that the traditional fast food potato side is a lot of little skinny things like a bag of pencils or something is widespread but inaccurate. Kudos to the historians on this one

★★★★★ | GlitterDeath
Totally got the wrong order but I think that was on purpose… like, to be accurate to the times and the experience?? So all in all, it was a good time.

★★★☆☆ | borneojam
We decided to go here ironically but then we ate the food so uhhhhhh


Half Caff Coffee (Coffee drinks)

Even those who don’t know much about the 20th century have heard about the widespread stimulant known as coffee and the vast distribution apparatus that was built to supply it. Try one and experience an old-time “productivity boost”!

★★★☆☆ | Hungry_Ghost
Hot cups bean water… mmm

★★★★☆ | krystal_lyman
We came here and got our ‘coffees’ and pretended to be ‘employees’ of ‘companies’ looking to ‘network’ and ‘synergize.’ That was pretty amusing.

★★☆☆☆ | Shonagon72
People in ancient times needed coffee because it distracted them from the misery of their lives, so it feels really out of place today.


The Commissary (School and/or prison cafeteria)

Even experienced 20th century hands can occasionally forget how much of the period was dominated by the institutions of school and prison. Remind yourself by experiencing the flavours of mass food contracting with these school or prison meals.

★★★★☆ | Kingfisher999
Really eye-opening and educational experience. Can’t believe they used to subject children to this barbaric practice called “school.”

★★★★☆ | BubbaG
Love those trays...

★★★☆☆ | krystal_lyman
It’s totally nuts how much of ancient society was built around food.


Mildred’s Nook (Full English breakfast)

The descriptions found of the so-called “full” breakfast suggest a meal so large and calorific it shocks our modern sensibilities. And to think this was only one of several meals eaten throughout the day! How did the ancients have time for anything other than eating?

★★★★☆ | getmeouttahere
Imagine if you took defatted soy protein in different hardness levels and moulded it into a few different shapes and served it all on a plate together. Pretty good.

★★★★★ | TheYear2000
An unexpected delight!

★★★☆☆ | Hungry_Ghost
Why’d they need to eat all that


Mumbai Chaat (Chaat)

One of the common patterns we see in 20th century food is the need to keep things interesting by varying shape, texture, colour, and of course flavour. The great combinatorial variety made possible by different ingredients was always explored thoroughly.

★★★★★ | GlitterDeath
These have to be the most complex flavours they were able to achieve with their technology level. How did they do it?

★★★★☆ | TheOtherMan
Good if you like your food to have a lot of tastes in it

★★★★☆ | Shonagon72
You can’t be a human being if you don’t eat food, my auntie said, so I came here and ate it, it’s fine. But still, I don’t see why I need to eat food to be a human being...


Da Wings (Buffalo wings)

The buffalo wing was thought to lend its “wings of victory” to gladiators in the arena. The more wings one could eat, it was said, the greater chance one’s own team would win. This sometimes resulted in excessive consumption, and death by wing was not uncommon.

★★★☆☆ | Granola King
It was fun to pretend like I was a past person rooting for my sporting team or whatever.

★☆☆☆☆ | Shonagon72
Worst date ever. “The buffalo was an animal that didn’t have wings... ‘buffalo’ in this case isn’t the type of meat, but the town it originated in… blah blah blah”

★★☆☆☆ | Orpheus
Features something called a “hot sauce” which causes excruciating pain, apparently this was something people liked to do? Why??


Chaz Cheddar (Pizza parlor)

More than simply a food ingestion site, these gathering places featured chanting automatons costumed to resemble the animals being consumed there, as a grim reminder that life, especially in the 20th century, was nasty, brutish, and short.

★★★☆☆ | secretisout
This is a kind of food that is laid out flat like a disc. Arc-shaped slices of the disc are made, and are subsequently allocated to the people present at the table.

★★★★☆ | chrisr
I read about this in Dickens, or maybe it was Tolstoy. Either way, a good traditional food for the peasantry.

★★★★★ | rockabyebaby
It’s the late 20th century. You are using your personal computer to make something called a “video game.” You reach for a slice of pizza. Aw yeah.


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in reply to @matthewseiji's post:

I bought Last Call BBS recently and have been loving it, especially 20th Century Food Court. I am so happy to find all the reviews here in one post like this, they were a wonderful reward after breaking my brain trying to solve the puzzles in the most efficient way, haha