maddie

Anyway, neither of these things are near me so I'm spared. 🫡

Holy Grail? MAYBE? If this is your type?

But real quick, Lune Croissanterie is located on right near the super fancy wanky store with all the big brands, and it's not the only one. I would actually recommend going to the Fitzroy one since it's way bigger and you don't have to line up in the midst of metropolis chaos.

My friend and I queued for 35 minutes before we got in. Having walked by it multiple times, this is only an issue if you're going early or during weekends. On a weekday at 1-3pm, you probably won't need to line up. They might sell out though.

This is it -- the supposedly world's best croissant. We took it, we bit into it, we analyzed it, we shared thoughts. They said it was prepared over 3 days, but since making croissants is at least a 2 day job, I wonder what part of their process is extra?

So for the croissant, it's the aroma more than anything. Everything is infused with layers of butter. It's like...well, what we ended up trying to describe it was "it's the best part of a brioche in a croissant". The shell is just crispy enough. We all just wanted more SALT, and to that end, maybe the ham and gruyere or the lasagne croissant would be even better.

So yeah, it really is "okay, I see why people call it the world's best croissant." And it's not necessarily "but nah, we've had better", but "okay, so this is very different in X and Y regard".

The kouign-amann...is not a traditional kouign-amann. Which is fine, but I'm just letting you know in case you're expecting something similar to a cruffin sized thing. And it's good! This one is really good. The sugar crust is excellent, though I feel a traditional kouign-amann uses that shape for a reason -- it gets you a better crust around that 'muffin top' area, because there's just more surface area. I know Lune bakes it in a mould lined with butter, sugar, and salt until its caramelized too, but I really do enjoy the traditional bigger mould and shape.

Very much recommended, but this is quite sweet because of its nature.

So I don't have a photo for the almond croissant so I just yoinked one from their website, so do note it doesn't look as good in real life but...honestly? I think this photo looks bad too.

I don't recommend this one at all. In fact, it's a travesty. Almond croissants by themselves are bastardizations anyway (this is not an insult to the beloved almond croissant) and are often day old croissants repurposed.

This one tries way too hard. It's the absolute equivalent to a tiktok/youtube chef using super expensive ingredients to try and wow someone, except this one just completely misses out on the point of an almond croissant. For one, it is HARD. It's just very difficult to bite into, and it's also too sweet, and it's also just overstuffed with almonds, and the almond paste in the middle is also just way, way too much. Nothing is allowed to shine because everything is ALMONDS and OH MY GOD WHY.

All four of us took a bite and then gave up on it.

WE THREW IT AWAY.

Thanks, world's best croissanterie.

EDIT:

Me trying to convince my friend to go to Lune

Located in the bustling, elbow-to-elbow squeeze of South Melbourne Market, Agathé Pâtisserie commands a large line rivalling Lune Croissanterie, except this line actually moves because they have an efficient serving system.

They ran out of traditional croissants while I was there, which is a shame, but I got the matcha red bean croissant and a peanut butter flan that was fresh out of the oven.

The matcha croissant was massive. We were legitimately shocked at its size and how hard it was to fit your mouth around it (keep your mind clean, perverts). The sugar syrup crust was a bit too sweet, but the soft chewy interior was enjoyable. We were surprised to also find red bean piped down the middle. The more you chew, the more the matcha aroma presents itself. Overall, good!

The peanut butter flan I also found a bit too sweet, but it was really nice and jiggly and it was fun to shake it about. It was also piping hot, which is excellent, and with every bite, the peanut butter flavour is actually dominant instead of being in the background of a regular flan. The custard wasn't too heavy, and the pastry was above average.

Overall, I really did like Agathé Pâtisserie, just be wary that you have to brave a big line and the hustle and bustle of South Melbourne Market itself.

(For the next few weeks, all of these posts are going to be quick-fire editions. I'm simply going to too many places, it's very difficult to post/write long form where I am, and also the internet in Melbourne is absolutely terrible.)

Located on the famous Guildford Lane, Brick Lane was a place that was very much recommended to me. They're quite well known for their food. But first of all, their coffee is Rumble Coffee Roasters, and they're currently using the Guatemala blend. It comes through quite nicely even with the milk smothering it (I really should be tasting long blacks instead of my usual flat whites tbh), and there's a nice lasting sweetness to the notes. It's also a bit darker than I normally prefer, but overall I'm quite happy with the usual Colombia/Guatemala/Kenyan beans I drink.

I bit into the almond croissant and went ????. It's crunchy? Chewy? Very chewy? The almond paste they use also has notes of that chinese almond powder mixture that many asian children are familiar with. I know a lot of people discount this as a 'medicine-like' taste, but I was personally okay/used to it from my childhood so I thought it was fine.

I will come back to croissants later when I talk about Kimber cafe below.

Their infamous pulled pork burger. It's huge. It's massive. My partner and I shared half and we were stuffed full. It's positively overflowing with pulled pork and it's also got very nice spicy notes. The potato salad on the side is mixed with mayo, honey mustard, and some nice herbs, with a little sprinkle of chilli powder on top.

Overall, really good bang for your buck, but it wasn't something that I felt like I would want to keep eating. It's unique, sure, but it wasn't more-ish. But if you're a university student and all you want is a super nice and filling burger for an acceptable price, this is probably what I'd recommend.

Overall thoughts

Since it's old brick houses repurposed into a cafe, the place is just too loud and feels like a bar. The sound keeps echoing off the walls and even just sitting there, everyone feels like they're shouting. It's extremely difficult to enjoy the atmosphere.

Krimper Cafe

Located just opposite, Krimper Cafe is also a brick interior, but it's larger, far more spacious, and they keep the windows and doors open (which does tend to make it a lot colder, but at least you can hear yourself think).

Their coffee is Maker, and it's also The Smith blend. This one didn't come through as well as Rumble, and it's a very standard 'milk chocolate' blend that you can drink anywhere else. It was also more astringent and the aftertaste wasn't as pleasant as I would like.

It's okay.

This is their pain au chocolate. Oh boy, it was wonderful and great. And it was crunchy. And it was again--CHEWY.

This was when I realized something: are New Zealand croissants just softer in general? Why is every croissant I'm having in Australia so much more chewy? There's a substantial crunch/crust to the exterior compared to the best croissant places in New Zealand.

It's different! It's very different. And I think it's a matter of taste. Some people enjoy super soft pillowy croissants, while others would definitely prefer something like this as long as it doesn't taste dried out.

This pain au chocolate had an excellent buttery smell to it. I really like it.

I'm going to multiple different croissant places in Melbourne, and I'm going to seriously re-evaluate all the croissant places I've eaten in New Zealand after this. 🤔