maddie

Kneading pizza dough while having nail polish on isn't a good idea

Uhhhhhh

It better not bake out with glitter

This place has some absolutely whacked out advertising that I'll talk about later. There's some recent hype about them being ranked no. 47 out of top 50 global pizzerias, up from being placed no 65 last year.

I've had Dantes before. It's probably New Zealand's most famous Pizzeria, and a moniker in service to the owner's Italian grandfather. All their pizzas are Napoletana style sourdough and made with imported flour. They're also 80 percent hydration, and I'm just a big fan of high hydration doughs and chewy crusts in general. It's one of my go-to places when my friends visit from overseas and want to try something 'different'.

Montanares

Every good Italian place I've been to has sold their sourdough cut into strips and deep fried, and Dantes is no exception. The dip is San Marzano sauce with garlic and parmesan. It's very salty! And surprisingly crispy, since I expected a softer texture. I've had fried dough before (my favourite being at Spiga) but this one was very homely and rustic in comparison. Honestly, it's one of those things you suspect is designed to be extra salty so you'll be forced to order a drink.

Puttanesca

San Marzano tomato sauce, Fior di Latte, Anchovies, Capers, Kalamta Olives, & Chili Flakes

Yeah, it's not Napoli pizza if the toppings don't slide off, lmao. Anyway, this was my first time (and everyone else at the table's) taste of anchovies on pizza. It's salty, it's strong--I'm not adverse to it--but it's not my first choice of pizza topping. The capers and the olives were heavenly though, and the chili flakes packed a surprising amount of oomph.

Catari

San Marzano tomato sauce, Fior di Latte, Caramelized Red Onions, Pancetta, Spicy Nduja, Oregano, shaved Grana Pandano, & E.V.O.O. (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)

The Catari is a strong favourite. I love Nduja, and the panchetta and red onion mix was great. This one would be everyone's favourite if not for the--

Fungo

San Marzano tomato sauce, Fior di Latte, Portobello Mushrooms, shaved Grana Pandano, & Cracked Pepper

This one was devoured in a heartbeat by the entire table. It's smooth and fantastic but takes no risks. Mushroom pizza, what's not to like? Probably the best comfort slice out of all of them.

Con Proscuitto

San Marzano hand crushed tomato sauce & Fior di Latte. Post-bake: Wild Rocket, Prosciutto di Parma & shaved Grana Padano.

This is the regular. The common choice. The easygoing one. Hell-yeah. The problem is, this one came last and by then, the brighter, fresher notes from the rocket were crushed by all the salty pizzas that came before.

Their so-called EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL CRUST????

This is what all you perverts are here for. The sourdough has semolina flour (my guess) mixed in to get that rougher, crispier texture on the outside and it's great. Is it my favourite dough? Umm, honestly? I would still go back to Spiga. But Spiga is fine dining. Spiga is something I go to only on the rarest of occasions. And for this price (which is still a lot more expensive compared to regular pizza, don't get me wrong), Dantes is very good.

But there's something hilarious going on with their advertising.

So I had a talk with some friends regarding this. We were thinking either:

1. some advertising intern was being paid by the word because THAT IS A LOT OF WORDS TO SAY NOTHING. (A 'symphony of contradictions' and 'a paradoxical masterpiece' became a temporary meme. Then we graduated to 'sheer gastronomic genius' and 'advanced culinary wizardry'.)

or

2. someone at Dante's is incredibly proud of their crust and told advertising to write down verbatim what they wanted to say. Because keep in mind, this is an Instagram ad. Nobody clicks on 'read more' or 'links in the bio'. That's just how Instagram works. This ad didn't even tell you the location of Dante's Pizzeria, which I would assume is the most important thing in an ad--to get you to the restaurant!

or

3. someone just had fun

My general experience is that I wasn't blown away by their sheer gastronomic genius.

But would I go back? Ummmm. I have a bias -against- this place.

Pizza is probably one of my favourite foods in the entire world. But I'm incredibly conscious of the price I paid here. The seating is really cramped and stuffy (and they frequently force six people into four person seats.) And look, I've just had some horrible experiences with the customers (NOT the restaurant staff). During this particular trip, a man was hovering--basically stuck--to the woman he was with, and he would not give her any space, was being very creepy, and he was constantly vaping. He'd turn and blow the vape smoke at the table next to him. Our table. my partner is very covid vulnerable btw.

When I spoke to him about it, he looked like he wanted to beat me up. He continued to blow vape smoke at our table for the next half hour and he never once gave the woman space. Dude was violent and possessive.

This has, of course, nothing to do with Dantes itself. But all three times I've gone, I've had adverse experiences (at their Ponsonby branch, the most famous/popular one).

I'm just unlucky, I guess.

Spiga is a place you REALLY need a reservation. Oh boy. On our second attempt, we were told we needed to reserve weeks in advance. On our third, I think we got the manager on the phone and he said "yeah, I can do you today! Just come here and ask for my name!"

So we went and got this super cute banquette a week after Valentine's.

Quick tangent: I love banquettes. I just love the feeling of an enclosed, cosy, wooden space with nice cushions. If I had the money (iN tHiS eCoNoMy?), I would renovate my own place to have a banquette too.

Onto Spiga, then! First off, you can skip their coffee. It's okay. I've tried a lot of high end restaurants and I've never had one where the coffee is anything 'great'. At best, they've always been slightly above average. It did taste unique enough, but I mean that in the general background of New Zealand's caramel/dark chocolate/malt beans.

The first thing we got was a starter and one of their most famous dishes:

1. Prosciutto di Parma 24 mesi e gnocco fritto

This is 24 month aged prosciutto with fried pizza dough. It doesn't sound like much, right?

This was the best dish we had all night. It was so incredible it blew my mind. The prosciutto is sweet and soft and melts in your mouth. I liked it better than both times I had A5 Wagyu in Japan. I cannot stress enough how much this dish exemplifies the core ideal of Italian food - which is to have the best ingredients and present them in a cohesive way. This was so good my partner and I were just laughing and staring at each other like we were eating food for the first time.

2. The octopus dish that no longer exists on their menu

That's cause it's out of season. So uhh, unfortunately I don't have the dish name since I can't find it on their menu. This was really good though, because this was octopus at its peak. I believe it was paired with a sort of mole sauce and an old school potato salad, and definitely a very nice mince on the side. A great land meets sea dish, would recommend.

3. Tagliatelle allo zafferano con ragu di guance di manzo e gremolata

Saffron tagliatelle with beef cheek ragout, lemon, and thyme.

My partner wanted to monopolize this dish. The beef cheek ragout was suitably soft, melt in your mouth, while still providing a great texture with every bite. Tagliatelle isn't my usual go-to italian noodle, but this one worked fantastically, with a tiny bit of al dente bite. Eating it felt somehow sinful - as if we didn't know if we should keep going or not because the plate kept getting smaller and smaller.

The portion size is excellent though, because as a shared dish it did its job of satisfying you yet leaving you wanting for more.

4. Bresaola e burrata

This is neapolitan mozarella, tomato, dry aged beef, burrata, and basil pesto.

You can't go to Spiga and not have one of their pizzas. Their super high hydration dough (my preferred dough) is excellent, as shown as how much we fawned over their starter. This pizza was wonderful too. I tend to find Napoli style pizzas end up a bit soggy due to their fresh toppings and fast baking time, but Spiga's was excellent. The toppings had just the right amount of moisture (the basil pesto did heavy work) to coat your tongue with enough fat so that the flavour really sticks out and stays. The mozarrella was heavenly with a wonderful array of salt crystals - you could really taste how it sparks on your tongue. And the dry aged beef was sliced so thin it was transparent (much like the prosciutto) but it took the flavour in a very interesting direction.

I can't decide which one I like more - this or the tagliatelle, but this one was much more unique, compared to the tagliatelle which felt like it was just a super exquisite and quality presentation of a dish you've already had before.

5. Millefoglie al pistachio e arance

Okay, this probably changed with the seasons too because even though I'm looking through the menu and it says "Pitaschio and orange Mille-fieulle", those are definitely cherries in the picture, and I don't recall any orange flavours. But I think this is a good sign - I love menus that change with the season and use the freshest items they can get.

It was overall, an okay mille-fieulle, and the pistachio cream has been done before and better. The overall blend was nice, but I didn't think it was worth the money.

6. Tiramisu della nostra Famiglia

Tiramisu, coffee tuille with secret mascarpone sauce.

My partner, the world's biggest lover of tiramisu, was disappointed. We couldn't taste any alcohol flavour, and even the coffee itself was a bit mild. We did ask the manager what was in the dish, but he smiled and said, "Haha! That's a secret recipe!". Fair enough. I'm guessing the mascarpone cream didn't have any egg in it (which is how it is done traditionally - modern tiramisus incorporate egg and the double boiler method), and almost all the coffee taste came from the tuille cookies which were kinda...mid.

So yeah, you can get better elsewhere. I understand this one isn't the traditional sponge cake type, but I felt like it was trying too hard and lacking what really made tiramisu tiramisu. (My partner took a bite and remarked that mine was better. That's not a brag, but rather a statement on how far this version deviated.)

Overall thoughts

It's an expensive place, there's no shying away from it. Still, I can understand why so many people claim this to be Auckland's #1, but I wouldn't come here unless I was sharing with another person or at least with a group of people. Out of everything, I'd say going for their pizza would be your best bet if you want something really mind-blowing.

I asked my partner what she'd order if we didn't have money concerns: she said she'd get two plates of the 24 month prosciutto with fried pizza dough all for herself. She repeated that last part by the way, she gave me a look and said, "all for myself." That's how much she loved that dish. In fact, we kept talking about that dish even when we were eating the mains.

But skip their dessert. You can find better elsewhere.