nomnomnami

indie game dev, disgaea fan

see you on neocities!
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please play disgaea 4


announcements, music:
www.youtube.com/@NomnomNami

the reason some of my games take a really long time is because i get into a state where the thought of doing any single task in development feels so overwhelming that i can't move. i can't think. i can't figure out what to do and can't make any progress. so i have to wait until something suddenly clicks and my brain works again. that's how it feels. i've been doing this for a long time, and this is the pattern. it feels very bad to try to work on a schedule, because i will unexpectedly run into these blocks and not be able to make the progress i know i otherwise could be making, and i feel very bad about it.

i say this because, currently i have overcome one of those blocks and i've been making a bunch of random progress :) it always feels REALLY GOOD when this happens, and i wish i could just work like this all the time, because it's fun for me to make games. i feel frustrated and sad when things aren't clicking like that, because i assume it must be something i'm not doing right (not eating enough, not taking good enough care of myself, not taking enough breaks). i don't know, i was surprised the other day when someone said they admired how productive i am. this year hasn't felt very productive at all because i haven't finished a lot of the things i planned on doing, and i have a lot of self-imposed deadlines looming.

i'm trying to worry less about these things. it doesn't get easier, but today is a good day :)


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in reply to @nomnomnami's post:

this!!!! THIS! oh my goodness! augh.. i experience this a lot as well due to stress & i've noticed a lot of other artists complain about it. i think it just takes a certain type of person to become an artist, as you need a lot of time and patience to actually get good at art.. typically folks who are neurodivergent in some way and being born nd tends to have a lot of other consequences crop up as you try to navigate this world not designed with you in mind. it's so much easier for us to become overwhelmed than the average person!!!! so when people slam artists for taking a while, it's so disheartening.. i'm struggling with the fact i kind of need to take a step back myself after working so hard this year on content creation and gamedev. being confined to the mortal husk stinks!!!

your games are such an inspiration though, i've been checking your page religiously for updates, but i don't mind waiting as long as it takes! i'm sooo excited to learn about what happens to trick and phoenix and more general shenanigans in the candy alchemy town!

waaaugh i hate that executive dysfunction feeling; and the guilt makes it worse...
i know there's some thing mentally and some organizing i can do to prevent it piling up like that but doing that can be overwhelming too..

In lately years I've been maintaining multiple projects (of different types) to subvert exactly this. At least if I get stuck on one by the amount of things that need to be done, instead of forcing myself to burnout I can go relax by working on something else for a week.

I also feel this. Tbh being on a small team and juggling hats can weirdly help me at times. Recently I got stuck on frustrating programming stuff for some time. Eventually I did some writing, briefed some stuff with the artist and prepped some admin. After a break it was better being able to cycle back and steamroll through the programming block but the frustration and sitting in it really sucked. Especially when it started to feel like "Oh I can't even do this at all, should I just abandon it."

I think it is admirable to be productive in the sense that anyone finishing games is a miracle. And continuing to do so is a feat. It's easy to mostly pay attention to the drawbacks and flaws of something and forget that it wouldn't exist in the first place without you making it.