Okay but if you actually try using bucatini as a drinking straw you'll quickly realize the openings are much narrower than an actual drinking straw and so you have to suck so much harder
My other issue with bucatini, the thing that makes me actually hate it as a pasta shape, is that you can't actually slurp it up like you would spaghetti. Because it's hollow, you just end up sucking the sauce out through it while it sits limply in your mouth, like you're giving the world's worst head. Absolutely evil idea for a pasta shape.

