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AE-et-al
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This post is part literary analysis, part self-reflection, and something I really wish I could put on my Professional Site. But it discusses my plurality in depth, which is something I don't want my professional sphere to know about, for my own safety. So it shall go here instead!

The original story is a Japanese webcomic, but here it is with Japanese narration and English subtitles. cw for existentialism and deep time. It's only 12 minutes, so please check it out before reading the rest of this post! I won't require you to, but it is worth it!

The concept is one of those "would you push the button for a million dollars but...?" things you've probably seen before. In this, you get 1 million yen BUT your consciousness is sent somewhere else, where you must exist for 500 million years. As soon as it's over, your consciousness comes back to the present and any memories of those years are wiped. So, to you, nothing happens and you get a free 1 M. Your future lifespan and everything else is unchanged.

The main character, of course, presses the button, and the bulk of the story takes place during this 500 million year span. With time skips, of course, we can't sit here and read this story all day!

Now to talk about the parts that are Scary. You don't need to read one to understand the other, so feel free to skip a part you don't want to lol.

Plurality: Horror with Friends!

If you don't know what I mean when I say I'm plural, it means that there are other guys here in my head with me. They are distinct, separate personalities with their own thoughts, feelings, and, most importantly, memories. In my case, my brain created them to deal with trauma, but they can exist for many other reasons!

Part of the horror of "The 500 Million Year Button" is that this huge, stupefying act happened in your past, but you have no memory of it. You go about your life as if everything was the same, but there might be physical proof it transpired. In the story, you would have the money and the word of someone else it happened. But did it really? If a tree falls in the woods....

I can see how this is a scary concept for some people...but I already deal with it. Granted, it wasn't the span of 500 million years, only several years! But I didn't get any money out of it. What a ripoff!

Anyways, say I hypothetically pushed this button because I think it's a good deal. "My conciousness" is sent to the no-space for the next 500 million years...but what does that mean? There's two possibilities:

  1. All of my brain gets copied over, which includes my headmates, so I am not "alone" for that time period.

  2. Only my "soul"/personality gets copied over, so I am truly alone for the first time in my life.

#1 sucks because I am forcing other people into this situation with me, and not all of them are going to consent to this. #2 sucks because I'll actually be by myself. Even if my headmmates aren't around or actively talking to me, I know they still exist nearby, so I'm not really alone.

Being alone for such a long time is going to be traumatic, obviously. The human mind doesn't like being alone. So it's very clear to me that my mind will create new headdmates. And more than 1. How many beings would be born into existence? Thousands? Millions?

And when it finally ends, what happens to them? Since all of the memories in that space are erased, are all the headmmates erased, too? That seems to be the implication, as nothing that happened in that other space is carried over to the "real" you.

So is that an ethical thing to do? To drag other people with me into this horrible situation when they don't consent to it? And to create a bunch of people that I know will be erased from existence? Just so I can get a bunch of money? The answer for me is a very empathetic "hell, no!"

But this wasn't an intentional interpretation by the author, I feel. Most people aren't aware that plurality is a real thing. The story can instead be seen as a study of "is it ethical to make money if it means someone else suffers?", such as the basic class stratification of society. This isn't meant to be communism 101 so I will assume you already know about all of that lol

But the real source of "horror" for this story is asking yourself if you'd do this. If you can possibly comprehend this situation. But it doesn't scare me because it's not an unknown. Many, many times in my life, there are Awful Situations I know I need to face. I know that, in the moment, I will feel awful. That I wish I could die. But also that, once it's over, I will be totally fine on the other side. Because I will have no memory of it at all.

Many of these situations I do with the comfort of knowing that I won't remember any of it. I'll suck it up and make it through the hard part at the moment. But I only do that when what I get out of it is a good thing and will be worth the suffering.

Like the gender-affirming surgeries I've had. I knew they hurt, that the medical stuff was very unpleasant, the dealing with insurance. But I am so very happy with the results and my life has been made so much better! And I knew it would be that way, so past-bird made the decision to put future-bird through hell in order for farther-future-bird to be much happier.

1 million yen isn't that much money lol. In the grand scheme of things, 1 million USD isn't a lot, either. Especially where I live (that could barely buy me a house!). Would my life be a lot easier if I had that? Well, of course! But the amount of money I'd be making per year (not to mention how much I'd be making per hour) is not worth the suffering I'd have to deal with moment-by-moment.

Even if I was a singlet, I'd still probably look at the situation in this way. I, in the moment, will be suffering, will that temporary pain be worth the future reward? The creation and death of others wouldn't happen at all, it would just be me. And still my answer would be no. The suffering of working a normal-ass job would be so much better than the suffering of that hell. The nice things I could get with the money isn't worth it.

And I struggle to understand how someone thinks it could be. "You" are still going to experience that pain, do you not realize that? The you who made the decision to push the button is still the same you that has to suffer the consequences. It's not like you're working in a factory and someone ELSE is profiting from it. It's not someone else deciding to put you there. It was you, and only you benefit, and only you suffer. Would the knowledge that the future-you won't recall any of the suffering make you feel better in the present?

Of course not! How is this a question! So the basic angle of the horror of this story just doesn't work for me because there is 0 reason you should ever think this is worth doing.

Jumping into a volcano to save someone is scary because you might get hurt, but someone else might get hurt worse if you don't. Getting thrown into a volcano is scary because you are going to get hurt and you have no control over it. But is the concept of jumping into a volcano for fun scary? No, because why would you ever do that? How can you possibly be scared of something that you'd never, ever, ever do? Just don't do it, walk away, and you won't be any worse off!

Buddhism: You Ate the Golden Ticket!

Now here is the actual scary thing, in my opinion, but it's more scary in a reading an Aesop's Fable kinda way and not a "oh no this might happen to me" sorta thing.

"The 500 Million Year Button" is a Japanese story, and the predominant religion in Japan is Buddhism. Buddhism is centered around the four noble truths:

  1. Suffering is a thing that exists and is inherent to existence. Existing is suffering.
  2. Suffering happens because of "attachment" (put a pin in that definition).
  3. There's a way to not suffer! You just have to get rid of attachment!
  4. Once you get rid of attachment, you "reach nirvana," so now you don't have to deal with this shit anymore!

Buddhists believe in reincarnation, so once you die, you are reborn in another form, perhaps in another plane of existence. There are heaven-y realms and hell-y realms, but also the one we currently reside. Reincarnation is "necessary" because attaining enlightenment isn't easy! It takes several lifetimes to do all of that!

But what if you had nothing to do for, say, 500 million years? And you were never hungry or in pain or needed to sleep or eat? In "The 500 Million Year Button," the protagonist does this and is able to attain enlightenment. Awesome! Good for him.

But, of course, once he returns to the regular world, he doesn't remember any of it. He doesn't remember enlightenment. Which means that, once this life is over, he will be reborn and have to deal with suffering once again.

Of course, he does this literally by pushing the button and putting himself back in that no-space. But he hit the button 16 times for 16 M yen. So 8 BILLION years of suffering. He will, undoubtedly, reach enlightenment once again, but it won't do him any good as none of that will be carried over to the "real" world.

I could probably go on about how the story might be a critique of samsara in general, of the futility of spending your life working on enlightenment but you forget it all when you're reborn. But I'm not going to, because I didn't grow up a Buddhist, only converting to it later in life. I'm not a theologist. There's a lot that I don't know so I'm gonna stay in my lane and only go over the very, very basics of Buddhism.

So with that, attachment! What the heck is it? Buddhism is a very old religion, so many of the words used have varying definitions and not everyone can agree what they mean. But a very common definition of attachment is the the desire for earthly/material things. This can be anything from Lamborghinis to anything pleasurable at all. So no sex! No nice clothes! No meat!

Of course, not every Buddhist lives like a devout monk. But wanting to accumulate wealth for the sake of just having wealth is probably a no-no. But no one is clicking the button for shits and giggles. They're doing it to get money, "easy" money in which "they" pay no cost.

If you've seen "The Good Place," you're probably familiar with the concept that every action you take, no matter how noble, causes someone else to suffer. (If you haven't, you should see it! It's very Buddhist and goes over a lot of these concepts). Some actions do a bit more good than others, but there are definitely actions that are just Bad. Evil, if you will.

So is putting someone that is essentially not "you" through 500 million years of suffering an evil act? Well, duh. And why are you doing it? Just so you can get some money? And what're you gonna do with it? Buy a Lamborghini? Sip martinis? Look hot in a bikini? What does that, ultimately, accomplish?

But for both characters, the 1 million yen isn't enough. They want more, solely for the sake of having more. When they discover that "they" do not suffer for their actions, they quickly forget that they're hurting others. And they're never going to be happy with the money they do have, once they realize more is just a button-press away. They, too, are suffering, from greed, even if they don't realize it.

And the ultimate irony of the situation is that the main character attains enlightenment in the midst of the suffering. They have, quite literally, nothing, no one. There is nothing to be attached to other than their thoughts of the "real" world. But is it even real if it's so far removed from your current situation? What good are a future million dollars going to do you now? But if you can let go of your attachment to those outside things, then you no longer have to suffer by missing them.

There's a little more to that in achieving enlightenment, of course, but we don't know what it is. Or at least, no one who's here in our realm know what it is. And even if it's only a fun little fact or a mathematical formula you could learn from the book, intellectually knowing it isn't the same as understanding and living it. You have to look for enlightenment and bring it into your very being. And that takes a long time.

And the reward for this is supposed to be an end to all suffering, forever. But the character doesn't get to reap that ultimate reward, as all attained knowledge are thrown away, just for some money. And he puts himself through that process once again, just for money. He learned everything while also learning absolutely nothing.

This story, in my opinion, works as an amazing Buddhist parable instead of a horror story. Was this the author's intention? Perhaps, but it's hard to know.

Wow! That was a lot of text! What about you, do you find the story scary for a different reason?


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in reply to @AE-et-al's post:

I've always went with "no" to answer for this, because there's no way to know for sure what possible residual effects the process would have. As for the Buddhist parable, I feel like that was definitely a huge influence.

My personal interpretation is that the copied consciousness is supposed to be an allegory for the suffering of other people that you will never see, but you choose to commit. The usage of "your" consciousness just makes it more relatable.