numberonebug

onebug

@numberonebug

  • she/her

healthcare bureaucrat in philly, v adhd, orthodox jew, ect ect, im love my wife

log inask
blog
numberonebug.bearblog.dev/
numberonebug
@numberonebug

because of the way that the conversion process is structured in America there has never been a time where I've been both connected to Judaism and also not affiliated with a synagogue, that's just not how it works

but now, after conversion, with my shul both abandoning values I thought we shared
and more concretely just actually leaving my neighborhood I'm, left with a complicated and new (to me) relationship to Judaism, that I don't really have a script for. seeing as 4 in 5 Jews in America do not attend services regularly it is the norm so it shouldn't feel this weird or bad haha, but yeah nowhere in the long conversion process did anyone ever say "here's how to be Jewish without a synagogue"

You must log in to comment.

in reply to @numberonebug's post:

shel
@shel

It is time for your secondary education: learning to be an annoying middle class secular Jew who complains about everything and doesn’t know the word Halakhah but has very strong feelings about Israel (in this case though your strong opinions are different than the norm)

login to reply
numberonebug
@numberonebug

That is a comfort,,

In all honesty I think I'm gonna check out a ModOx shul in south philly that I've been vibing with. Like. If I have to use public transit on shabbat it might as well be to a pleasant part of town, if I have to be in a room with people who are unmasked it might as well be a group that isn't discordant about their values, and if there has to be a mechetzah it might as well be on tied to tradition instead of a fucking "magical thinking" covid barrier lmao.

login to reply
shel
@shel

If it weren’t for the difficulty of not being able to talk about Palestine and having to be silent while people talk about Israel then I’d consider another shul but like I don’t see that happening

login to reply
numberonebug
@numberonebug

That's real! Luckily, living in Texas gave me the skill to sit in community with people I wildly disagree with. Also helps that I remember last time I went (years ago) I got the vibe they were like, pro israel but not loudly so. I certainly couldn't go to a place that like says the pledge of allegiance or anything like that lol

We'll see we'll see. If I ever do find a place that's chill I'll let you know

I think I just can't stomach KT talking about justice and building a better world and yadda yadda after this. Even if I am privledged to not feel particularly more or less safe going there now I do feel a lot of discontent at the discordance in what they say and what they do

login to reply
shel
@shel

I mean, KT is the only synagogue I ever attended where I didn't have to shut up and not talk about Palestine. CBI in Northampton had a rabbi who called for an end to the occupation and called for "empathy for Palestinians" but was still a soft-zionist and the shul flew the israeli flag outside the building and stuff. I'm used to just taking what I can get.

but.... right now.... with the war.... I have a feeling that it is very unlikely I'll be able to avoid the issue... people will be bringing it up. Not sure how I can really feel "in the community" with that

login to reply
mojilove
@mojilove

yeah... fwiw they don't teach that last point at Jewish schools either. I've been feeling that I have needed to take a better look at my own personal Judaism for a while, but I haven't been able to start that process at all really
i'd imagine it's a personal journey in any case. I hope you find an approach that works well with you! (but also I 100% agree with what @shel said above)

login to reply
Pinned Tags