one of the final steps of conversion is to write a Spiritual Autobiography, so that when quizzed during the beit din about our past and our motivation we have our head on straight and have a clear idea of how we got to this point. pretty sure absolutely nobody is gonna read it and im absolutely sure that if they do it would solely be for idle curiosity. and yet it is still very hard to keep from tangenting into diatribes about my (mostly negative) feelings over Lutheran scripture and dogma fjadkl;fjafaj
sola fide is such a bad idea! the idea that all one needs is faith alone, it's such a thought-stopper and a stumbling block in front of anyone with any interest in actually learning anything about their faith other than the surface level stories needed to have belief, its also such a demotivator to anyone teaching or in a position to answer questions. and what the fuck is "salvation" anyways?? such a "creates a problem then sells you the cure" kinda thing. uughhh. im really looking forward to putting all of this behind me and not look back haha.
this essay is becoming cathartic in the true sense of the word, like im excising something acrid lmao, putting aaaaaall of this on a page so that I can actually leave it behind
