Im having a panic attack at 6:30 am 👍

My pinky toe has been..itchy? Lately? Like to the bone. It feels so strange though, like its itchy but I can tell its not an itch?

I tried looking up what it could be and one result that came up was diabetes

Which is fear of mine, and not outside the realm of possibilities, also; This past year, my father, who I don't have a relationship with, had all of his toes amputated on one foot. It started out that he only needed his pinky toe and the next toe over removed, but it ended up being all of them. He came into contact with me because he was really sick beforehand, and they found out about his foot through him being hospitalized.

He would call me sobbing some days because he was scared and didn't want to end up like his father, who had both legs up to the knees amputated due to diabetes.

And I'm just...so afraid that my health really is getting worse. I don't know if it's /that/ worse, but it runs in my family..

I need help. But my anxiety disorder more or less prevents me from getting help. I need help with my BED, which will heal my relationship with food and help me be healthier, I need therapy to help with my depression, anxiety, etc. To heal in general and I can't do any of that /because/ of my anxiety. I just feel so...lost and scared at the moment.