screenshotted this a while back and i look at it when i get sad but. yeah. this is important
something @atonal440 said a couple of days ago on discord,
do you have any idea how hot I thought you were when I first saw you? you looked amazing and also you looked completely fearless
and obviously it felt damn good to hear but the thing is, yes. you were supposed to see that. everyone is. it was arduously cultivated and it is load-bearing. it has to be unshakeable because this is what's underneath it. both halves: the fundamental requirement of self-love, and the powerful urge to be the representation I never got to see. a trellis for others to climb until they can stand confidently hot and fearless too.
oh and while I'm at it... the hotness is not about my body or my face. I have tons of remaining mirror dysphoria. I'm gap-toothed with a heavy brow, neck flab and a paunch, thin lips no hips and tits too small for my ribcage. the fearlessness is what makes me hot. the casual confidence to be the room's centerpiece and laugh if someone questions my placement there. that's what took cultivation, and it was 100% "fake it 'til you make it." getting there will look different for everyone, but I sincerely believe everyone can get there. I channeled my confidence as a singer, brought it off stage with me after karaoke performances, leaned into compliments, studiously maintained this until I believed it and could engage it in other contexts.
find something, just one thing that you love about yourself, and build out from there.
and also... look at what you literally said: the hotness was in how I decorated my body. of course there are parts I do like too, and I know how to accentuate them, and accessorize around the rest.
