mumbling about twitter bullshit and personal branding
if twitter does actually disintegrate i'll probably try to rebrand and make a new space for my plushie/illustration work specifically while i keep around this name to be a weird furry clown without having to deal with people like my family or prospective partners seeing my True Self.
thats always the hard part of trying to be an artist on the internet is that you need to be hypervisible to an extent to gain traction on your work unless your body of work is like... qualified under being "truly exceptional" or highly appealing to a particular subsection of people to have an audience.
i dont want pity on the fact since i feel a lot of people struggle with the same things to an extent too, but i do have communication issues and have a developmental disability and also scopophobia lol that prevents me from feeling comfortable being in the spotlight. it's hard for me to "market" myself and "put myself out there" when im so overwhelmed with being observed and perceived. this can get dangerous as i am queer and trans as well.
my face is on the internet, my name is on the internet, i cant keep dividing identities and places if i want to gain the traction of an audience because i have to rely on the quality of my work and word of mouth in order to keep getting clients and commissions. i feel like im straddling a weird divide between a commercial artist, a fine artist, and a merch artist, where all of them can operate in their online identities differently. if i had the option though i would just delete my entire internet presence and start over from the bottom even if it'd suck for probably a bit. i'd need to men in black brain wipe my style from everyone's brains too.
if its even more, sometimes i want to be an adult on the internet and view/create porn or nsfw content but uhhh 50% of my business is making plushies/stuffed animals and i cant conflate these two operations and still expect to maintain any respectability when it comes to either side of my work. what is a guy to do? i don't know. the answer so far has to been just hide my nsfw content from literally every corner of the internet. that's been fine but idk i have an adult sexuality and treating my walking life like a chosen celibate person is not really healthy i think?
this feels like rambling about not a whole lot but i've struggled to put some of this into words before.
the start of this was twitter though. i think thats the final straw on a rebrand because i will be forced to if that site explodes. we'll just see when that happens i guess then.