you are offered to go hang out in someone's backyard and you observe their lawn furniture. they have:
- plastic landfill fodder that is already thrice broken and if you shift your weight too much you will shatter it into a million pieces
- (what you have to assume is) well made metal or wood seat, however it is supplemented by a cushion made for outdoor furniture and you know that it will either a) have a fabric surface texture akin to sandpaper or b) is mysteriously moist
you opt to stay on your feet.
