(we being me and the other people in this headspace)
- travel the world, the underworld, and the cosmos. maybe start by at least making it to canada
- get a nice apartment in the city, with a few loves and friends nearby
- buy a gigantic house with a million rooms for all my girlfriends and their girlfriends. the top floor is just one big room with a bed huge enough for all of us at once
- sink to the bottom of the ocean and live there like sedna
- write a long obnoxious discourse post about empathy
- finish my game about slutty magic
- hike through the appalachains on a multi-day camping trip. preferably in winter and there's no one else around, and i'll hike in nothing but a scarf and boots just to say i did
- have a decent kitchen where every now and then i spend a day making stuff meant to last a while: bread, seitan, kimchi, stocks, maybe homemade ice cream
- learn to code properly and contribute to open source projects
- live forever, watching the universe dissolve into complete entropy and maybe if i'm lucky i'll get to see the next big bang
- admit to myself that self care does not work for me and i cannot recover without the help of other people
- figure out how to find people who will not interpret 'i cannot recover without the help of other people' as meaning 'i am handing control of my life over to you'
- hand control of my life over to someone, but in a hot way and not a cruel way
- learn to dance
- wear a huge thing of plate mail and get sent hurtling to the ground by a guy on a horse with a big stick
- split myself into a dozen different bodies all connected to a hive mind so i could actually live my life instead of my mind constantly thrashing due to a lack of ram
- gain ten thousand followers on twitter and be gracious about it instead of weird like most people are
- write a story about a found family that spends the entire length of the plot in bed with each other just to annoy people
- get my art printed out and shown in a gallery
- try haggis, just once. even if it is just a small nibble
- work out so i have a flat tummy and thick arms so i can punch fash while looking hot
- become a cute chubby mommy
- finish my game about trans girls trying and failing to have a one night stand because one of them turned into a weird monster
drink some water(yes i wrote that down to make myself drink water)- have a long discussion with people about esoteric philosophies
- string up hammocks in subway trains to make them less stodgy
- get some new glasses, i've needed some for a decade
- cosplay as the lovechild of hajime ichinose and suletta mercury
- erase myself from reality like in that one christmas movie i never actually watched, so i won't have to carry the burden of existing in other people's spaces
- work on my art commenting skills
- join some proper activist groups and actually do something
- clear some of my endless backlogs, somehow
- convince daniel benmergui to let me make some storyteller levels
- lie on the shore and watch the clouds dance
- body paint
- get back into tarot, and work out a style of collaborative readings
- dye my hair the many colors of lake michigan
- convince people that i'm worth the effort
- reject the concepts of free will and the self
- learn a new language or two or three
- ruin the lives of bigots and oppressors by my mere presence on this earth
- figure out how to make my art say things rather than just being vaguely pretty
- get rid of all my shitty facial hair for good and maybe also get ffs?
- stop running from the world even though i don't know how to do anything else
- repost things i've already said until you all appreciate them properly
- make a game about the world's most pathetic orgy
- abandon my flesh so it can no longer be a threat
- write a song or two. maybe also learn to sing?
- learn to cry when i'm sad
- become the unreasonable man and demand the world change to suit me
- actually get okay at cooking and cook for more than just myself
- connect with every moment on its own terms
- film a professional pornography video featuring a torrid, erotic love affair between me and a tree
- do a standup comedy routine where i don't talk, i just write everything on a big whiteboard (maybe i talk exactly once)
- figure out which items on this list i actually want to do and which i only think i do because of the expectations of the world around me
- try to spend an entire month with haiku as my primary os
- go back to college, or at least something like it
- skinny dip in a river with some cuties
- remember my dreams
- write stuff down more
- organize healing communities within queer art spaces for both author/audiences and audiences/authors
- start taking in the hopes that destroying a part of me will make me more likeable
- get the shit beaten out of me by the ghost of ian curtis
- start a garden like hayley heyndrickx suggested
- return to a vulnerable weirdness
- reconnect to the idea of beatrice portinari as secularized muse
- experience gender euphoria
- wear some ridiculously elaborate lingerie
- not feel embarrassed about the fact that most of this list is so basic and easy and everyone else already does them
- take more pictures of things. today there were some raccoons in my garage but i couldn't take a picture because i didn't bring my phone with me
- make a weird little game about robot finding kitten in the musaeum clausum
- more art collaborations! more art shares!
- talk about my frustrations with the term 'cultural christianity'
- reject people who treat me like a hot potato
- get really good at adventure games.
- destroy the concept of 'content'
- write a story about a plant girl who makes a girl out of junk, it goes badly
- get into a knife fight that leads to a wedding, exactly like that one bit in macross
- learn to juggle
- demand that medical science and/or magic give me boobs that can grow and shrink at will
- become a burden to everyone around me (positive)
- piercings, tats, tails, other fun stuff
- get a wild bird to perch on my finger
- convince a bunch of cute girls to give me a makeover
- rest my head on a stranger's shoulder
- have my very own giant robot for peaceful purposes only. you know the labors? like that
- restore old technology for fun. i get to keep one c64 for myself