ovengoats

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hi im oven or ven
corporate account: @glumbocoin
competitive splatoon: @gootuber
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in reply to @geometric's post:

I extremely relate to this.

Like you said, I strongly support all of the posts that go around about relaxing, taking things at your own speed, self-care, etc, but over the years (bc of my own particular personality) I feel like it's really done more harm than good for me.

I miss the days of high school and college when I was a hard worker and good at focus, and pushed myself to learn new things. I want to get back there. I want to get into healthy habits and be a better version of myself.

I'll be rooting for you too!

This is a great post. I had a multi-hour talk with a friend recently and we were wondering "What's going on? Why does it feel like we're the only people changing and everyone else is (for lack of a better word) complete?" And why we've constantly felt like we have to seek out different, more ambitious people, to bring us along, to surround ourselves with excellence, otherwise we just feel like we're constantly floundering.

You're not alone.

I still am very judgmental of that part of myself—the part that craves to be part of the "cool" crowd, and right now the cool thing is to...I don't know, be cynical and survive?

I mean, true, there's a lot to be cynical about. And there have been points in my life where surviving is basically all I could think about. But long term, just surviving turned into an exercise of being continually disappointed in myself not because I was failing people, but because I was doing what they expected of me, and I was miserable.

Something that helped inspire me recently that might help is...I watched the creator of 2Kawaii4Comfort's video on how he made the video series and then...stopped before the last episode because there just wasn't enough money to go on. The audience loved it, they just couldn't get the Kickstarter off the ground. For him, it was a failure.

2Kawaii4Comfort as a series is very heartwarming and cringey, and listening to the creator talk about how much the fans meant to him, openly discuss his mistakes after five years away from the project...and then admit he's thinking about, at the end of this year, trying to make the last episode, was like sparks for me. I have so much deep respect for a fellow creator who wanted to make something that not everyone would love, made it to the best of his ability, failed, and then came back.

I only just met you! But I know you've made cool things! I respect that, deeply.

And I have faith in you that you can come back to thriving.

Yeah, all the anti-crunch culture stuff is good, but I do feel like it sometimes goes too far in the other direction into “pushing yourself in any way is bad.” It affects me negatively too, like I now don’t want to be too passionate about anything.

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with the same thing :(

It's such a weird balance and just like... I dunno, extremely personal psychological thing around what kind of messages a person should take in and in what amounts. Here's hoping we find the direction to chase passions freely

This is such a mood. Moving out of Texas and changing jobs for the first time in nearly a decade, and just realizing how much I'd retreated into myself over the past few years and avoided growing. Perfectly reasonable expectations at my new job had me seriously questioning whether I could even do a job I was fully qualified for, and having significant anxiety over that for months. Whether I could support the people depending on me. I'd just sort of checked out of one thing to focus on others, then checked out of those too, for years.

in reply to @geometric's post:

it's true! it is rewarding to try hard, as long as what you're working at is something you enjoy doing, or something that deepens your understanding of yourself and the world. safety is important, but it works best as a foundation to build upon - and doing the building feels good!!