pastell

something i've been trying to do over the past few months is develop some rituals. i don't mean day-to-day ones, like a breakfast routine or an evening wind-down routine--although i'm trying to do that, too--i mean rituals on the cultural scale.

for years i had felt that i Had No Culture. i was almost envious of people who i percieved to have more of a culture than me, like an indian acquaintance of mine who does bharatanatyam dance. eventually i saw a tweet pointing out how white people, particularly americans like me, acting like they have no culture effectively establishes american whiteness as the default, and how that's a tool of white supremacy and also a really annoying sentiment to hear for people who have had their cultures suppressed in favor of forced assimilation to american culture. at which point i thought "oh fuck, they're right, that's shitty of me.

so i did some reflecting, and i've come to identify two major factors that contribute to my feeling of Having No Culture (which still persists despite consciously realizing that it's not true):

1. lack of community
2. lack of rituals (that i find personally meaningful)

i saw this video by john green, which was lovely, but the pinned comment is:

I have a simple prayer at the beginning of this year, and every year: May this year justify our hope. -John

and i really love that. so i think i'm going to do that. maybe in cursive and stuff to practice my cursive.