pastellexists

may death never stop you

trans and queer lesbian just trying this thing out

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19 - gemini - US
english, toki pona

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i maintain @precious-tiny-things

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posts from @pastellexists tagged #journal

also:

with a friend of mine, and she had a look on her face that said something was wrong so i gave her a look and she said she’s on her period.

we’re not super super close, we don’t hang out a lot outside of events like this one, but there was some very specific, very intense feeling that what i needed to do was put an arm around her and rub her shoulder. like, just the deepest feeling that, specifically, i needed to do exactly that, that’s what she needed in that moment.

and i couldn’t do it! i felt too awkward! we hug all the time, physical touch is not like a heretofore uncrossed line in our relationship, but something just stopped me.

and it sucks! cause i can’t shake the feeling that i failed her somehow.

idk i love her, as i do all my friends, and this is just a really shitty feeling that i don’t really know what to do with! i think im gonna see if i can bring a like microwave heating pad with me tomorrow, cause we’re working the same event again.