This is a hard one; there's a bit of a gap in my knowledge on animals when it comes to birds, admittedly! To answer the best I can under the cut, however:
beeper: Bare-throated bellbird.

Its call is a single shrill sounding 'beep!' so loud it can shatter eardrums if you're close enough.
squawker: I'm not sure if they fall more under dinosaur bastard, but Canada geese are avatars of chaos upon this world.
dinosaur bastard: Shoebill. No further comment.
funny lil' man: American woodcock. Weevil looking ass that goes 'peent'.

