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How to Rank Your Cat's Enemies
- Level One Nemesis: Generally immobile, near silent; typically abandoned to the dust bunnies beneath furniture that had a gap just big enough to slide under. Seen only a few times each year, when you remember to dust under there.
- Level Two Nemesis: Automated toys with predictable patterns. The automated laser makes enough sound to be noticed from the next room. A cat will generally respect this nemesis for its punctuality, but becomes quickly bored by its lack of imagination. Some will get nothing more than a passing glance.
- Level Three Nemesis: An incidental enemy: shoe laces, corset laces, banjo strings, yarn you are actively crocheting, charging cables, instrument cables, ethernet cables; the list goes on and on. A L2N can appear at any time. Humans may or may not be present, which is why a L3N is distinct from an L3P-N
- Level Three PUPPET-Nemesis: A puppet-nemesis is a recurring foe: rainbow dancer ribbon, mr. orange-worm, the evil feather wand. These enemies curiously only appear if the room contains at least one human. This perplexes the cat, and is the root of some TRUST ISSUES. However, the cat accepts the possibility of betrayal for the love of battle. Perhaps the puppet-nemesis is simply the avatar of the human's fighting spirit, the thing they cannot express with their weak, furless flesh. Thus the love of battle remains kindled in their hearts.
- RED ALERT Nemesis: Literally anything. A vacuum cleaner, a hairdryer, a trash bag, an orange peel. This nemesis is a horror to behold, and has a 60% chance of activating the cat's flight response. Nemesis has a random % chance of earning the PSYCHIC DAMAGE tag. Future encounters with an enemy possessing a PD tag increases flight response to 100%.
- Frienemesis: There's a mix of love and hate. This may be a stuffed toy they like to carry in their mouth or hug and kick with their back legs. This may be a particular crinkle ball or small item they choose for playing fetch.
Tune in for more #CAT FACTS.
